Mom's own iPhone use ToC (Terms of Conditions) to her son

[Curtiss]

It does not go with you to school.

I always thought that phones were supposed to be for emergencies. What do I do if I get kidnapped? Just suffer because my mom wouldn't let me bring my phone because she thinks I'll text/call my friends?

Just saying, the kid could have a secondary phone that's not like the iPhone. I know of some parents at least who have done that to avoid the possibility of their kids getting their expensive phones stolen or confiscated because they used it at school.

[MuscleWizard]

OH MY GOD THESE RULES PISS ME OFF SO MUCH PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE MY ANGRY SIDE.

Spoiler

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

No, you're an pimento for even saying that, and pineapple your gift, I don't want anything to do with it.


2. I will always know the password.

Haha, nope. I'd smash it first, you nosy plum.


3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.

Well no pomegranate, but pineapple you for giving such a pomegranatety rule. I can only imagine the backlash this kid's going to have to deal with if he is in a situation where he simply doesn't hear it ring. "WHY ARE YOU IGNORING OUR CALLS YOU ARE GROUNDED GIVE ME THAT PHONE YOU CAN NEVER HAVE IT BACK EVER"


4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

Clearly the dumbest rule of them all. I mean pomegranate, lady, you don't understand kids if you think you can enforce a bedtime after 7:30. being that strict with him is only going to alienate him.


5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

''HEY MOM HELP SOMEONE ABDUCTED ME AND I CAN'T CALL FOR HELP.'' alternatively ''pomegranate, MY TEACHER'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK.''

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

SOME pineappleING GIFT, HOLY pomegranate YOU ARE THE WORST PARENT. YOU AREN'T EVEN GIVING HIM THE OPTION OF GETTING A CHEAPER PHONE IN THIS. YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING ''HEY, HERE'S THIS FRAGILE PIECE OF PLASTIC. IF IT BREAKS YOU HAVE TO DO NINE TIMES THE CHORES'' FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU


7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

He's a pineappleing teenager, teenagers DO that. It sucks, but it's impossible to stop gossip. I know you're probably guilty of gossiping with your old biddies at work.



8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

saying it digitally is the same as saying it in person because your name is attached to it and they inherently know who said it.


9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

pineapple censorship and pineapple people who think that language should be limited for ''politeness'' and ''political correctness''


10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father.

hilarious, he's thirteen, going through puberty, and you just don't want to have to deal with cleaning the sheets.


11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

this is damn inconvenient, and completely goes against rule three.


12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

well no pomegranate, finally a rule that makes sense


13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

wow, she must really hate instagram


14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out.

It's a piece of advanced technology designed to give you access to things in places you normally would not have access to, such as the phone, information, music, literature, and all other kinds of fun things. I personally carry my phone everywhere, because sometimes i need to quickly look something up to get a better understanding of it.



15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

I DON'T LIKE THE MUSIC YOU DERN KIDS LISTEN TO, LISTEN TO SOMETHING ELSE yeah okay grandma


16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

agreed, so long as it's not anything zynga put out. puzzle games are fun.


17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

but, learning is important. i mean i could watch a fire, and be all, wow, that's neat, i have no idea how it works but it's neat, or i could look it up, and learn about the heat, why it burns, what makes it burn, and get a deeper understanding of the world around me. you're basically telling your kid ''stay ignorant, it feels better''


18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

you honestly have no idea that you already took away his phone with all these limits.

[Dusk]

It's a huge sign that you have a problem when you can't wait until you get home to whack off.

Besides, they have Xbox 360 enabled porn sites, but that doesn't mean everyone and their grandmother is using their 360 to view porn. If you're questioning what I mean, back when the 360 added IE support, a few porn sites advertised that their sites will work on the 360 version of IE.

I never thought of it as something to do in public. A phone is just the easiest thing to access while you're lying in bed or sitting on the toilet.

[Syphira]

The school should have a phone and someone who can deliver the message. If the kid doesn't know his own parent's number, there's something wrong.

True true, though there are some schools out there that don't allow children to use the phones at certain times (this includes after school).

Our school had that thing for awhile, and if they weren't outside and you needed to go back in to call them they'd kick you out automatically.

Of course, there's also kids that allow others to borrow their phones, but y'know, ahah.

My kids played with computers since birth, pretty much, but I prefer desktops for them. Much cheaper and less fragile (also prefer CRTs that they can't tip over). And it's not like she needs to take it to school or to her friends.

I'm one of those as well; I think I just prefer taking it mostly because my parents are prone to calling constantly, but it doesn't really sound like these are -- so I can understand what you mean.

Desktops were, and are, still the bomb for me, ahaha. Though I use a laptop now due to being older, I wouldn't mind using a desktop at times.


Iunno, I may have a smartphone of some kind, but I think I'm only saying what I'm saying because I wouldn't mind having to use some of the older flip phones for anything if it came down to it.

[Loose]

Kids these days, I tells ya what. I didn't get a phone until I was around 15 years old. The phone was the size of a brick, it could only be used to talk.

Spoiler

OH MY GOD THESE RULES PISS ME OFF SO MUCH PLEASE DON'T READ THIS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE MY ANGRY SIDE.

Prime example of why rules/advice like this has to be stated.

2. I will always know the password.

Haha, nope. I'd smash it first, you nosy plum.

Because destroying expensive things is smart.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

Clearly the dumbest rule of them all. I mean pomegranate, lady, you don't understand kids if you think you can enforce a bedtime after 7:30. being that strict with him is only going to alienate him.

Clearly the rule doesn't say anything about a bedtime.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

''HEY MOM HELP SOMEONE ABDUCTED ME AND I CAN'T CALL FOR HELP.'' alternatively ''pomegranate, MY TEACHER'S HAVING A HEART ATTACK.''

Friends of mine have been kidnapped, the first thing they do is take away your pomegranate.

And if you're teacher's having a heart attack or in an emergency wouldn't it be faster to run towards the nearest adult, probably just a classroom away, and ask for assistance? What are you going to do with a phone? Call for an ambulance and patiently wait there? "No, it's okay, guys. I called 911. Let's just sit here and wait."

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

SOME pineappleING GIFT, HOLY pomegranate YOU ARE THE WORST PARENT. YOU AREN'T EVEN GIVING HIM THE OPTION OF GETTING A CHEAPER PHONE IN THIS. YOU'RE BASICALLY SAYING ''HEY, HERE'S THIS FRAGILE PIECE OF PLASTIC. IF IT BREAKS YOU HAVE TO DO NINE TIMES THE CHORES'' FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUU

Responsibility's a peach.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

He's a pineappleing teenager, teenagers DO that. It sucks, but it's impossible to stop gossip. I know you're probably guilty of gossiping with your old biddies at work.

Continue being a lying scumbag, I mean, everyone else does it so I should too.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

saying it digitally is the same as saying it in person because your name is attached to it and they inherently know who said it.

That's a bunch of bullpomegranate. In person, I could beat the pomegranate out of you for being a disrespectful and insulting.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

this is damn inconvenient, and completely goes against rule three.

Don't you just hate it when you're talking with someone and they're just half paying attention to you, while the other half is staring at their phone? Put your pomegranate away and give me your full, undivided attention, show some respect.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

wow, she must really hate instagram

Wow, she must really not want him to become an attention whore.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

I DON'T LIKE THE MUSIC YOU DERN KIDS LISTEN TO, LISTEN TO SOMETHING ELSE yeah okay grandma

Most of the music made nowadays is garbage, however, to each their own.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

but, learning is important. i mean i could watch a fire, and be all, wow, that's neat, i have no idea how it works but it's neat, or i could look it up, and learn about the heat, why it burns, what makes it burn, and get a deeper understanding of the world around me. you're basically telling your kid ''stay ignorant, it feels better''

Because, pineapple learning pomegranate on my own. I want a device that tells me everything I need to know. No need to experiment and experience it by myself.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

you honestly have no idea that you already took away his phone with all these limits.

It's a phone. The kid is 13 years old. Ring, ring. Hello? Ok, thanks. Bye!

[Curtiss]

@Loose; Your remarks made me laugh heartily. I came back because I remembered that I had a bit of commentary to do on that rule about not taking pictures everywhere and this is what I think of it:

See, your first thought may be that it's just plain weird to ask him not to take pictures; what's an iPhone good for then (I assume this must at least be a 4S)? Then there's those of you who say it's about not camwhoring but I say it's more likely that she just does not want her son to be so dependent on the iPhone to even capture memories. As for why I think so, I recall a story from Reader's Digest about a mother so obsessed with recording the important events of her family's lives that she never quite saw or experienced it for herself since she was too busy adjusting the lenses and such to live in the moment.

After all, taking a picture of a flower is hardly as interactive as touching it, smelling it and also seeing it.

[Loose]

After all, taking a picture of a flower is hardly as interactive as touching it, smelling it and also seeing it.

It's like the people recording concerts with their cellphones. Why?

[Curtiss]

It's like the people recording concerts with their cellphones. Why?

I have no idea myself. I can only say though that I read lots from both books and from laptops these days and I still find the turn of a page more exciting.

[Justin]

I didn't get my first cell phone until I turned 18. Coincidentally that was when I got my driver's license. I don't even have a smart phone. It's used for texting and calling, that's it. I have 2 computers and internet access almost anywhere I go anyway. There's no real need for a smart phone.

[Retalion]

Your mom sounds special (No offence, I'm just confused as to how she expects a 10 year old kid to have that kind of compassion and selflessness when almost all of them won't because they don't have the life experiences to decide on that). Personally, I think that's why she included the part about making mistakes because she's wise enough to know he's going to screw up on at least one of those points but she's also telling him that's when they'll sit down and talk about it.

None taken. It still irks me at times, because she sometimes expects me to live up to her expectations, and they are well...unreasonable at times.

What I'm saying is that these rules won't make him a better person. When rules make people better people, it's out of fear; rules don't teach people not to do things...it teaches people how to get around the system and not get caught. All those parents forbidding their children to date in high school...Do these kids actually not date? Sure, some don't, but many simply choose to date behind their parents' back. Plagerism gets you expelled. Does that prevent people from doing it? Nope, they just try to become more sneaky. People choose not to date because they think to themselves "you know, they might actually have a point...I'm NOT ready!", and people choose not to cheat because "dangit, I'm better than that. I don't need to cheat to get my grades! I study hard, I won't have to cheat!"

[Words]

None taken. It still irks me at times, because she sometimes expects me to live up to her expectations, and they are well...unreasonable at times.

What I'm saying is that these rules won't make him a better person. When rules make people better people, it's out of fear; rules don't teach people not to do things...it teaches people how to get around the system and not get caught. All those parents forbidding their children to date in high school...Do these kids actually not date? Sure, some don't, but many simply choose to date behind their parents' back. Plagerism gets you expelled. Does that prevent people from doing it? Nope, they just try to become more sneaky. People choose not to date because they think to themselves "you know, they might actually have a point...I'm NOT ready!", and people choose not to cheat because "dangit, I'm better than that. I don't need to cheat to get my grades! I study hard, I won't have to cheat!"

This so much.
My mom was like the mom who gave the cellphone, always behind my back, checking everything I did and fixing all my mess ups. It was more like they're trying to prevent mess ups than to actually help their kids become responsible adults.
All her rules were reasonable and whatnot, but it didn't help me at all. When I turned 16-17 and changed school I noticed I had never dealt with anything because my mom was always there, hoping all her rules would make me a great adult.
When she was finally off my back I started messing things up really bad, but since she wasn't there I was able to fix them by myself. I was finally able to grow up. Of course, sometimes I needed her support, but that's all parents should do: support their kids.
From all those mistakes, experiences and advices I managed to learn more than from the restrictive rules I had.

Bit off topic: Things have changed enough so that I don't feel controlled at all. If anything, the liberties I was given when I left school made me notice that talking with my mom about certain stuff, and getting her advice was beneficial.
But when it comes to money I'm still controlled, and it's something that scares me. I've never really dealt with money, whenever I need money I ask my mom to give me some and she does. I don't know what's it like to have a budget, I don't know what's it like to have no money at the end of the month because I overspent myself.
I've been trying to convince her to give me a monthly allowance, that's enough to cover my expenses, but she's afraid I'll mess up and end up with nothing after a couple of weeks. And what if I do? I gotta learn how to make money last for a month.

[66alex66]

Didn't have use for a phone until I got into highschool and even then my parents gave me a $5 go-phone that could only be loaded up with $25 every 3 months which was an equivalent of 100minutes of calling or 100texts. If I could I would give my kid that kinda phone because I don't even trust myself with an iPhone, it's too much money in a kids pocket, he's not old enough to be carrying that kind of responsibility around.

[Malthe]

he's not old enough to be carrying that kind of responsibility around.

This really changes from child to child, my sister is 13 year old and earned money for her own iphone5 by working a job with a friend of hers in the spare-time.
And she is most definitely responsible enough to have one.
We do not know the child, so we can not make any statements regarding if he's mature enough to have that kind of responsibility.

[MuscleWizard]

What pisses me off about it

Is that she's using a gift to try and control him further.

She's taken a Christmas present and turned it into a collar.

[Curtiss]

None taken. It still irks me at times, because she sometimes expects me to live up to her expectations, and they are well...unreasonable at times.

What I'm saying is that these rules won't make him a better person. When rules make people better people, it's out of fear; rules don't teach people not to do things...it teaches people how to get around the system and not get caught. All those parents forbidding their children to date in high school...Do these kids actually not date? Sure, some don't, but many simply choose to date behind their parents' back. Plagerism gets you expelled. Does that prevent people from doing it? Nope, they just try to become more sneaky. People choose not to date because they think to themselves "you know, they might actually have a point...I'm NOT ready!", and people choose not to cheat because "dangit, I'm better than that. I don't need to cheat to get my grades! I study hard, I won't have to cheat!"

That's why I'm sometimes thankful that I hardly get gifts. The ones I've received from my online friends have been nothing but sincere which is why I'm all too happy to accept it and return my own.

In turn, these rules are good IF they're guidelines but given that it's a contract I'd bet that there's quite a bit of needed adherence to it so it may well backfire. One should hope that the kid has been taught on at least a few of these points before he got his iPhone though or else it'll backfire completely.

[hadriel]

Interpretations of the "ToC" is very subjective. I do not believe that there is a need to take interpretations to the extreme. Here's an example:

Do not take a zillion pictures ... ... -blah blah-

Alright so how do we interpret this? "You cannot take photos"? Or "You must not take photos"? Or how about something more reasonable, like "Take some photos, but don't go snapping every 5 minutes"? I don't believe the mum is being unreasonable, just being terribly obvious. Again we don't know the motives of the mum so everything said in this thread is some shade of grey.

If he us really being controlled by his mum because he is given these phones with these restrictions, then simply don't use it. Why walk into a path that puts you into a tighter bind when you can maintain status quo?

One last thing: for many things, you need to fall/fail in order to learn. But if you can learn the same thing by listening to others and/or you yourself avoiding the fall, isn't that even better?

Hadriel

[DeanNim]

Looks like i've been following these 'rules' without having my mum telling me, although i do bring it to school.
Things like not using your phone while having a conversation is pretty common sense tbh.
The time restrictions though kinda suck, but he is 13 after all. ((When i was 13 i didnt even think i needed a phone))

Spoiler

except for that porn rule. its just so much easier to look at in bed on a cellphone

[The Great One]

Most of these rules are common sense and should have been taught to your child well before you even give them a phone. The only ones that should be up there are "don't break it it's very expensive and if you do break it I'll replace it alright but you wont be getting it back for a while" and rule 12, which shouldn't just apply to naked pics but to a bunch of other things. Most people older than 13 still don't get that. The whole time limit is dumb and might as well have not have given him a phone at all hes in middle school he gets out around 2:40 if he does anything after school hes not getting home till about 4-5pm and then homework most likely so when the hell does he call or text anyone?

[ShadeCaro]

This is really just basic parenting. I mean, I thought most parents teach their kids about responsibility and how it's a privilege to have a cell phone.

[Seanny]

I found the concept appalling at first, After reading it through I find it mostly acceptable and more importantly understandable.

I believe healthy parenting balances between gradual independence allotment along with measures to yank them back out of trouble. But most importantly proper teaching to explain the why behind the values one wants to pass on. This ToC does a decent job of that.

... but still

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn!

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

Doubt this would hold up in court.

10.Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father.

I actually appreciate this a lot; there used to be a time that people talked to each other to learn things, and this also would break the ice between them. and a way to display the personality trait of willingness to help others. lmgtfy.com is not clever, its just a icon of people's dwindling social skills and inability to see a question as a chance to talk to someone new.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out.

2 guys with the similar personality traits are next to each other, one is so used to talking to people words just come right out, he can read body language and understands subtle reactions. The other is quiet, constantly texting and short on words and shows little to no eye contact and attention to the environment.

They have roughly the same interests and personalities, but which is a girl more likely to find more interesting? This one is only helping the guy all around. (The example applies in reversed genders too j/s)



This stuff sounds extreme, but i gotta say it; think about how differently things would have went for "Amanda Todd" if she had a mom like this?