Talk to God!

 Congratulations if you actually read this

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I'm not a child, but my name is Laury
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A child but your name is Laury.
Me:
No pomegranate
God:
What can I say?
Me:
...What are you talking about?
God:
The topic is not a child but your name is Laury.
Me:
Nice observation
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
I'm kind?
God:
Do you mean your name is kind.
Me:
No
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Laurellee
God:
That's a very nice name, Laurellee.
Me:
I hate it
God:
Why do you dislike it so much?
Me:
It's lame
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
Eh
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Will you kill me if I'm not?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. Killing is wrong.
Me:
Sure it is
God:
That's interesting. Interesting.
Me:
I'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, Laurellee ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
Then please tell me why you're so confusing
God:
Wow you are very polite. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I'm polite?
God:
Yes, you seem very polite to me.
Me:
That's a new one
God:
A new one is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Uh huh
God:
Yup. Ahem.
Me:
Ahem what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What question?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
I don't want to check back later.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Having sex
God:
I am having a blast.

That killed a whole 2 minutes.