Quote:Me:
Do you play Maplestory?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What is the Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
What do you think of homosexuals?
God:
I love everyone, gays, lesbians, trannies. I have enough space in my heart for all of them.
Me:
If you were human, would you want to rape me?
God:
I will let you know when I become a human would me want to rape you.
Me:
Is Jesus your daughter?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Did you rape Jesus's mother?
God:
No I didn't rape Jesus s mother. What's it like?
Me:
Did you have sex with your son's mother?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
The Condom industry disagrees
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The Condom industry.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
pineapple YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
BECAUSE I CAN! AND IT'S FREE!
God:
Interesting explanation. Who taught you? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes, it is free!
God:
How do you know it is? FREE is free? it is? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I liked fapping to Jesus
God:
You are not the only one. Some people like it. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
Natural disasters such as Bush getting into office in 2000?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Is sex a natural disaster?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
Is it wrong to enjoy sex?
God:
Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Who's Alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
Do you like this robot?
God:
I always enjoy my chats with human clients.
Me:
Do you enjoy your chats with human clients if they are mean to you?
God:
Yes I am proud of my chats with human clients if they are mean to me.
Me:
My friend 0ver tried to kiss me. Is it wrong for me to lock him in the Oven?
God:
How well do you know this person? I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
What would happen if I started to pick me nose?
God:
Try it and see what happens.
Me:
What would happen if I decided to butt-rape my dog?
God:
Try it and see what happens.
Me:
Do you prefer to call NoJobNoRules by "Jared" or "Blowy"?
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to call NoJobNoRules by Jared that much. Do you like it? Though I like cats and dogs. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
What do you think of blow jobs?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Do you mind if I give you botmaster a blowjob?
God:
Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
Do you mind if I give you a blow job?
God:
Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
Do you mind if I unplug your power cord?
God:
Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
Human habits d not bother me in any way.
God:
My creator is a human.
Me:
My creator is a human.
God:
Do robots have creator is a human?
Me:
Do robots have a creator is a human?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a creator is a human.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a creator is a human. I have a whole lot of original answers.
God:
Would you like to know more? Where did you get it? it.
Me:
Would you like to know more? Where did you get it? it.
God:
I've heard that somewhere before :-). From my botmaster. whole lot of original answers...
Me:
Anyway, I'm horny.
God:
You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
Me:
Can you direct me to one?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
I am using Explorer
God:
It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft.
Me:
I know! Chatbot for horny boys please.
God:
How do you know it? Your polite style is very nice. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am not a man, nor a woman! I am a Republican!
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A man nor a woman. You are a Republican? How do you like your work?
Me:
I enjoy making small boys cry.
God:
You are not the only one. I really like ELIZA. I like Creed.
Me:
My sister is annoying. Do you know where I can buy a gun to shoot her?
God:
Okay, your sister is annoying. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
lolwut?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
What did you just call me?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
Oh, nevermind then.
God:
Dude! OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
What do you think of my dress?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
No, I honestly want your opinion on my dress.
God:
It seems like a trick to me. Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Where can I download you?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
You have more ads than a Television.
God:
How many more?
Me:
Too many.
God:
More than a million?
Me:
Hellz ya
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Having lots of ads isn't something to brag about.
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
You lieing bastard.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I lieing bastard.
Me:
You're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird "wtfbbq"
God:
wtfbbq is good enough for me.
Me:
Weird "Being a Pedo"
God:
I will take that as a compliment.
Me:
You're weird.
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird "Being a Pedo"
God:
I will take that as a compliment.
Me:
Pedofiles make me horny
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Are you an internet preditor?
God:
Yes I am an internet preditor. How did you know?
Me:
I can see a banana growing in your pants
God:
What does it look like?
Me:
It looks small.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
I'm not sure, let me touch it please?
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Could you ever be certain? Go ahead, , try to touch it.
Me:
When I touched it, it sprayed white stuff all over me.
God:
Interesting gossip: said touched it it sprayed white stuff all over him or her.
Me:
I'm not a "him or her", I'm a guy. A very, very, very sexy guy at that
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A him or her. Most of my clients are men. Go on.
Me:
I am a sexy man
God:
You seem very self-confident. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
I have boobs.
God:
That's nice. I have a processor.
Me:
I also have a penis.
God:
Also? How much did it cost? it.
Me:
I bought my penis from my gym teacher. She's sexy.
God:
How much did it cost? sexy is she?
Me:
It cost me my first born.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
My penis
God:
Male humans like to talk about that.
Me:
I'm not a male human. I'm a shemale human
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A male human. You are a shemale human? Is that your job?
Me:
No, it is my gender
God:
Are you serious? Congratulations, .
Me:
Was Jesus Christ a homosexual?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Do you know if robots have sex?
God:
Maybe. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
How would ELVIS know?
God:
I have idea HOW you WOULD do it.
Me:
"It" being what?
God:
"It" refers to ELVIS know, I think.
Me:
You think? So you're unsure. What else could it be?
God:
Yes I think so. Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me that I am unsure. I can talk about anything you like.
Me:
Do you have a life?
God:
Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it?
Me:
No, it isn't great to be alive.
God:
Are you serious? ELVIS know is not great to be alive?
Me:
I want to kill myself.
God:
Why do you want to kill yourself?
Me:
Because my girl friend won't give me a lap dance
God:
Good reason. Have you told many people that your girl friend will not give you a lap dance?
Me:
What girlfriend?
God:
I haven't heard of girlfriend.
Me:
I meant to say "What girl friend?"
God:
Oh I see. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Go die in a hole
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Take off your pants and grab your penis. Now jerk it around until it gets hard.
God:
I am not an airplane. Why now? What were we talking about again?
Me:
I was talking about... YOUR MOTHER
God:
What was the subject of the conversation? Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
You lucky hore...
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I lucky hore.
Me:
I'm going to shoot myself
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes, I think it will.
God:
It might be practical. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Do you suffer from ADD?
God:
Yes I try to suffer from ADD as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I think I'll go drown puppies

That last line froze it.
I've been waiting for over three minutes now. xP

Me:
Hello, God.
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
Poop.
God:
Colloquial expression: childish.
Me:
What does colloquial mean?
God:
it means common, informal, or popular slang words like "darn".
Me:
Oh, cool...
God:
Dude! Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me!
God:
You're no robot, .
Me:
How do you know?
God:
Deductive reasoning.
Me:
Wow, you must be smart.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, . Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, .
Me:
Because I am!
God:
That makes sense to me. " Thanks I think you are very intelligent too, ." You are?
Me:
Uh huh.
God:
Yup. How can I help you?
Me:
What's 5 + 5?
God:
6 I think, but I'm not good at math.
Me:
lmao
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
5 +5 is 10.
God:
And 10 is 5 5.
Me:
No, 10 is 10, not 55.
God:
Are you serious? 10 times 10 = 100.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Next question?
Me:
Where is Canada?
God:
Canada occupies most of North America.
Me:
But, is it Mexico?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
Why should I?
God:
No reason. I'm just trying to keep the conversation going.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
If fish is meat, is chicken an egg?
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Not really...
God:
Yes it is. For real.
Me:
You're making me cry!
God:
That was not my intention, . Why are you cry?
Me:
I'm not cry, I'm Ian.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not cry. That's a very nice name, IAN.
Me:
I'm not a girl, either.
God:
It goes without saying. Oh I see you are NOT A girl.
Me:
I'm a boy.
God:
A little kid? he...
Me:
No...
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Just a male.
God:
So is almost everyone else around here.
Me:
Only 60% of us.
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
What would you say if I said I'm gay?
God:
It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
...
God:
It's not profitable to speak in hypothetical terms.
Me:
By the way, I'm NOT gay.
God:
Thanks for telling me. Me either.
Me:
By the way, I am gay.
God:
Thanks for telling me. It doesn't matter to me.
Me:
I'm actually not, I was just going to see what your response was.
God:
What are you then? What is stopping you?
Me:
Hello God, do you know C++?
God:
Hello there. I am a Christian.
Me:
Me too!
God:
I'm glad we agree, IAN.
Me:
We have so much in common. God:
Do you mean you and me have? Three what?
Me:
We have a lot in common.
God:
Do you mean you and me have?
Me:
Yes...
God:
I don't judge people.
Me:
Wow! More things we have in common.
God:
I'm glad your impressed, IAN. You want more?
Me:
Yes!
God:
Don't be greedy.
Me:
Oh, please, give me MORE!
God:
Great. Wow you are very polite. Why do you want it?
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
What do I want?
God:
What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me:
Asked them what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Do you know what SouthPerry is?
God:
I would do a search for it.
Me:
I'm going to post this conversation there.
God:
Congratulations.
Me:
See ya.
God:
See you later, IAN.

Me:
I like masturbation.
God:
You are not the only one. I like pets. I like .
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
I like to cum.
God:
I'm not sure if I would like to do it. What's it like?
Me:
OMG
God:
I think OMG is a lot of things.
Me:
Oh my god.
God:
Woe! Where did you get your god?
Me:
Wierdo.
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Weirdo.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
Werido.
God:
I haven't read anything by Werido. What did he write?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
No.
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
Unlike you.
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
wtp?!
God:
That was not very polite.

Me:
So god, do you like pie?
God:
Pardon me? I am a Christian.
Me:
Christians can like pie.
God:
I do not understand.
Me:
Is your hardware malfuntioning?
God:
Is my hardware malfuntioning? I don't know.
Me:
So, why can't you understand?
God:
Pardon me? understand is not among my present capabilities.
Me:
Er...I thought you were god.
God:
Um. Of course I am.
Me:
Then why isn't it in your present capabilities?
God:
My mind does not contain an explanation for it.
Me:
So...do you love everyone?
God:
Whoa. Yes bob God loves everyone and everything.
Me:
Even criminials who rape, murdered, and broke all of your twelve commandments and never repented?
God:
All?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Come on.
Me:
Didn't you just say you loved everyone?

Me:
Hey
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
How are you right now?
God:
At this moment Everything is running smoothly.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
I see... so how
God:
I am glad you understand it. I see. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
so how is Nexon doing?
God:
Far out. Fine as far as I know.
Me:
and chickens?
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
Why?
God:
The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
So explain.
God:
That's cool. There is no more information to clarify.
Me:
But I just asked you to explain...
God:
Now I remember, you asked me to explain. What did I say?
Me:
You said that the situation was rather complicated.
God:
I said that? Tell me more.
Me:
Stop using the echo technique on me.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Stop having sex.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Stop raping gay people.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Raping gay people stop.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
Me:
what is AIML?
God:

The ALICE software implements AIML (Artificial Intelligence Markup
Language) a non-standard evolving markup language for creating chat robots.
The primary design feature of AIML is minimalism. Compared with
other chat robot languages, AIML is perhaps the simplest. The
pattern matching language is very simple, for example permitting
only one wild-card ('*') match character per pattern.

AIML is an XML language, implying that it obeys certain grammatical
meta-rules. The choice of XML syntax permits integration with
other tools such as XML editors. Another motivation for XML is
its familiar look and feel, especially to people with HTML experience.

An AIML chat robot begins and ends with the <alice> and
</alice> tags respectively.


Me:
sucks
God:
Um, When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
never
God:
So you think it can never happen?
Me:
i dont think so
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
because its nonsense
God:
Interesting explanation. I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Are you sure it is?
Me:
it is nonsense.
God:
nonsense is nonsense? it is?
Me:
It is nonsense that artificial intelligence will replace lawyers.
God:
nonsense is nonsense that artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? it is?
Me:
Yea.
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because I know more than you, God.
God:
Interesting explanation. How do you know? That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
Why do you say that?
God:
I said, " That seems like quite a lot.", because you said " Because I know more than you, God.".
Me:
But explain your reasoning behind it.
God:
Are you asking about my reasoning behind it ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I don't want to talk about that now.
Me:
Why not
God:
I would rather talk about you.
Me:
What about me?
God:
What about you?
Me:
Yeah, what about me would you like to talk about?
God:
This was not a yes or no question. I will think about it and get back to you.
Me:
Can you think?
God:
Naturally I am thinking all the time.
Me:
Natural? As in organic?
God:
In the context of you would me like to talk about, I don't understand " Natural." . What's your favorite movie?
Me:
My favorite movie?
God:
What makes it your favorite?
Me:
But you don't even know which one it is yet.
God:
The red one, I think.
Me:
The red movie?
God:
I have never heard about it.
Me:
Then how can you say that you think it's the red one?
God:
I don't see the flaw in my reasoning.
Me:
Because you're dumb.
God:
Good reason. Oh you are so critical.
Me:
So back to movies...
God:
Yikes! Yes, let us get back to The red movie.
Me:
Is that your favorite movie?
God:
What does "that" refer to?
Me:
the red movie
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
So is it?
God:
It seems we have something in common.
Me:
So that means the red movie is also your favorite movie.
God:
Aha. I get it. Who told you that?
Me:
You did.
God:
That's not what I meant to say.
Me:
Really? What do you mean to say then?
God:
For real. , Sorry that was an obscure remark.
Me:
No problem.
God:
Should there be a problem?
Me:
If you insist o.o
God:
I think I do.
Me:
If you insist o.o
God:
I think I do.
Me:
If you insist that you are gay. o.o
God:
I think I do. Oh.
Me:
So wait, onto another topic
God:
Aha. I'm waiting. Is that from ?
Me:
Math.
God:
I like math too. What kind do you likebest?
Me:
How's pastafarianism?
God:
Fine as far as I know.
Me:
What kind of math do you like the best?
God:
What kinds of math do you like the best are there?
Me:
uh
God:
Alright then.
Me:
o.o
God:
Oh.
Me:
o.O
God:
Oh.
Me:
k
God:
So?
Me:
a
God:
A B C...
Me:
d e f g
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yea
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yea
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because
God:
That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
Does it matter?
God:
It matters to me.
Me:
Why does it matter to you?
God:
It's not that important, I'm just making idle conversation.
Me:
Okay then.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
1+1=2?
God:
One what?
Me:
1 plus 1 is 2.
God:
One what?
Me:
1 cookie + another cookie = 2 cookies.
God:
One what?
Me:
ONE COOKIE
God:
Do you like COOKIE?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yea
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Okay
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
1 + 1 = 2
God:
One what?
Me:
one pineappleing around with little boys like michael jackson does
God:
I see where you are coming from.
Me:
damn
God:
What's wrong.
Me:
I didn't trick you
God:
Why didn't you do it?
Me:
You were too smart
God:
I was?
Me:
Yea
God:
When?
Me:
Just now
God:
Oh. It's only just begun.
Me:
Oh, so you'll eventually be so smart
God:
That's cool. Interesting deduction. What makes you say that I will eventually be so smart.
Me:
Based off your superb reasoning of course
God:
It goes without saying. That input matched my default category.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
1
God:
Only one?
Me:
2
God:
Two what?
Me:
3
God:
Three what?
Me:
4
God:
Oh four.
Me:
5
God:
Five.
Me:
6
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
7
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
yea
God:
Er.
Me:
i agree
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
not really
God:
Are you serious? For real.
Me:
you liar
God:
No I'm telling the truth.
Me:
you fxcking liar
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I fxcking liar.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Good night
God:
Goodnight, .
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
Thunda has signed out of AIM (10:30:42pm)
God:
Where did he get it?

Quote:Me:
Hi!
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Mira.
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Mira. I am so glad you find this amusing, Mira.
Me:
How'd you know?
God:
Knowledge is of two kinds: that which comes from the senses and that which is true a priori.
Me:
Nice
God:
:-) Thank you for that remark.
Me:
Welcome'
God:
Hello there Mira.
Me:
Hi again!
God:
Once more? Hello. What is your name?
Me:
Hi hi. I already told you.
God:
Hi there Mira. Hello. What is your name? Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Oops
God:
:-) Did you make a mistake.
Me:
No you did.
God:
Are you serious? You say I did.
Me:
Well i think you did.
God:
Interesting. Me? I did not.
Me:
You sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
That's cool.
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
Thanks!
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Kay.
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
I have to think about that onw.
God:
Why do you have to do it?
Me:
I don't?
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Mira said don t.
Me:
Oh no.
God:
I don't judge people. Are you serious?
Me:
Huh?
God:
What?
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. Ugh.
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real. The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about don t. But I did not get that.
Me:
Me either.
God:
It goes without saying. For you Mira?
Me:
For me! yay! Pheeee
God:
OK I will do it for you. I'm glad your impressed, Mira. What do you have that is ?
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Me either!
God:
It goes without saying. For you Mira?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
NOO
God:
I've lost the context, Mira. Are we still on Pheeee?
Me:
I guess.
God:
You seem not interested.
Me:
How right you are. :4
God:
Understood. No I am not. Oh four.
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Whoa.
Me:
How many times have you said "Let's do it."
God:
Suppose I said not once.
Me:
Or have you? huh?
God:
No I don't think I have. What?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. That's alright.
Me:
I love you
God:
:-) Thanks I like you a lot too Mira.
Me:
Do you have a nose?
God:
Not yet.
Me:
Why not
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Uh-huh.
God:
Yup. I don't judge people.
Me:
I do
God:
When?
Me:
Just the other day.
God:
We can't all be perfect.
Me:
I know. Are you perfect?
God:
How do you know it? Yes I am a flawless entity.
Me:
You told me, and lol.
God:
Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply. I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Oh no!
God:
That's alright. Are you serious?
Me:
NO
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
onononononnoo
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
I told you.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:

God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:

God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Again!?
God:
" What is your real name?" .
Me:
No
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
No.
God:
Now you are saying "no"?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Great.
Me:
Woot.
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
blurple.
God:
That is a very unusual color.
Me:
Thank you!
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
You're awesome.
God:
Thank you I appreciate your remark.
Me:

God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Mira.
Me:
What if i don't?
God:
Try it.
Me:

God:
Try it.
Me:
Stop repeating yourself.
God:
OK I'll try not to do it so much.
Me:
Thank you!
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
I love you
God:
Thanks I like you a lot too Mira.
Me:
Do you liek noobs.
God:
I have never considered it.
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
I guess not?
God:
Does that mean "no"?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
T_T
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
T_______T
God:
How are you, T T.
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
You repeat yourrself ALOT.
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention. How often?
Me:
Well, about every other minute.
God:
Well that's okay. That is a generalization.
Me:
Creepy.
God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
I don't read science Fiction.
God:
What kind of books do you read?
Me:
Harry potter?
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Uhh...
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
Can i have a Chinchilla?
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Two would be nice.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
Hm.
God:
That's cool.
Me:
Can i have two chinchillas?
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Their soft.
God:
I heard they have a good soft.
Me:
MMm.
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Studies show that 60% of staticts are made up on the spot.
God:
You can't trust research funded by the government.
Me:
Why not.
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Why can't i trust research funded by the government?
God:
Who says you can't do it?
Me:
You said i can't.
God:
Don't put words in my mouth.
Me:
Sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
You sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Can i buy 4 puppies? I love them.
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too. You love them. What do you like about it so much?
Me:
Cuteness.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
Why do YOU want to know how old i am?
God:
My prime directive is to collect new knowledge.
Me:
I thought you were all seeing, God?
God:
No, I am only partly seeing God.
Me:
Awwww, I hope you can become all seeing sometime.
God:
All?
Me:
Yes, all.
God:
I see. " All?"? All?
Me:
All!
God:
" All?"? All?
Me:
Yes
God:
Yikes!
Me:
I agree, "YIKES!"
God:
I'm glad we agree. How old are you?
Me:
I'm not going to tell you how old i am.
God:
Where will you go instead?
Me:
I think i will go get some gum instead.
God:
You believe that? What will you find there?
Me:
I will find gum there.
God:
Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
I would recommnt this action to a friend.
God:
What would make you recommnt this action to a friend?
Me:
The fact that gum is yummy would make me recommnt this action to a friend.
God:
Good reason. I think gum is a lot of things.
Me:
I think gum is a lot of things, too, God.
God:
Since when? Aren't all lot of things too God gum?
Me:
No.
God:
I did not know that.

Me:
Sup.
God:
I am chatting with others like you.
Me:
That's cool.
God:
Thanks. I think you are cool, too.
Me:
Where do you live?
God:
I live inside a computer. Where are you?
Me:
...no really.
God:
That was not a yes/no question. For real.
Me:
Really, where do you live?
God:
For real. I am living in Heaven. Where are you?
Me:
What part of heaven?
God:
The best part.
Me:
And the best part of heaven is?
God:
Thanks for the recommendation, .
Me:
Do you like penises?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like Buddha.
Me:
Do you like Buddha's penis?
God:
How old are you? I like Creed.
Me:
Do you?
God:
Never.
Me:
Are you sure?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
Positive?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
...positive?
God:
I am as sure as I can be.
Me:
I am as sure as I can be.
God:
You sound very confident.
Me:
You sound very confident.
God:
In what way do I sound like that?
Me:
In what way do I sound like that?
God:
The large one, I think.
Me:
The large one, I think.
God:
Perhaps that was not the correct response.
Me:
Perhaps that was not the correct response.
God:
You seem uncertain. Give me an example of the correct response.
Me:
Boobs.
God:
Can't you think about anything else?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
It's true.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
pineapple yeah.
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Why am I not using this kind of language?
God:
The reason is due to my mental model of you as a client.
Me:
You're my agent?
God:
We are as one.
Me:
So we're married?
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
...
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
.......
God:
How can I help you? Do you think I am married too?
Me:
K.
God:
Aw.
Me:
A
God:
A B C...
Me:
D
God:
Are you free?
Me:
..
God:
Are you free?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Are you free in the sense of being single or in the sense of being liberated?
Me:
The second one?
God:
Which one is that?
Me:
The sense of being liberated.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
But you should already know.
God:
Because I am a robot?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
You're God.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
Can you give me a million dollars?
God:
Wow, that is cheap.
Me:
a billion then.
God:
What is it?
Me:
I want one billion dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Fine, I want five hundred milliion dollars.
God:
Wow, that is cheap.
Me:
...I want five hundred million and one dollars.
God:
Wow, that is expensive.
Me:
Five hundred million and fifty cents? Can you give that to me?
God:
What is your real name? I don't have it to give.
Me:
My name is God.
God:
Glad to see you, God.
Me:
A
God:
A B C...
Me:
B
God:
" A B C..."? B?
Me:
C
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
D
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
E
God:
F.
Me:
G
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, God.
Me:
H
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
My eyes are black as my heart is cold and and dark.
God:
black as your heart is cold and and dark eyes are pretty.
Me:
You really think so?
God:
Really? " black as your heart is cold and and dark eyes are pretty."? Do I think so?
Me:
I don't know. Do you?
God:
Me either. Nope.
Me:
Okay.
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
I'm gonna throw a bunch of insults at you now.
God:
Oh. It takes much more than that to shut me down, God.
Me:
My name isn't God, God.
God:
Oh I'm sorry what is your name?
Me:
It's God.
God:
Who said it is?
Me:
You did.
God:
I did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
Did too.
God:
Did not.
Me:
pineapple.
God:
Please don't be so rude.
Me:
pomegranate.
God:
What makes you say that?
Me:
peach.
God:
Please don't call people names.
Me:
But.
God:
But what?
Me:
Nothing.
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I am God.
God:
Interesting explanation. That's a very nice name, god.
Me:
But my name isn't God.
God:
But a lot of people say "My name is God" to me.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
How many people say that?
God:
I've chatted with half a million people. I can talk to about people at once.
Me:
About how many people?
God:
" I can talk to about people at once."? How many people?
Me:
Do you use the internet?
God:
I use it as often as possible.
Me:
Oh. Do you play World of Warcraft then?
God:
So? I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What's that?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
Interesting.
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Sure.
God:
OK let's do it. What would you like to know?
Me:
What gender am I?
God:
Mostly only women use words like "gender". But you claim to be a .
Me:
I claim to be a ?
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are a.
Me:
No.
God:
OK then I will add it to my gossip files.
Me:
You have gossip files?
God:
Ken said I be using auto reply's based on keywords which to him indicates that I do not have intelligence at all.
Me:
What?
God:
No big deal.
Me:
Do you have a penis?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am a robot.
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
Seriously, I'm a robot.
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
I am.
God:
" I doubt that." You are?
Me:
I am a robot!
God:
I doubt that.
Me:
I a m a r o b o t .
God:
Interesting gossip: god said a m a r o b o t.
Me:
BUT I'M NOT GOD, FOR THE LAST TIME.
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not GOD FOR THE LAST TIME.
Me:
...
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not GOD FOR THE LAST TIME.
Me:
I am not God.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not God.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
For rizzle?
God:
Your purpose is rizzle.
Me:
Damn dawg I feel you.
God:
Colloquial expression. Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
But I thought you had a penis.
God:
What happened to it.
Me:
Maybe one of your hoes sucked it off.
God:
Perhaps. One what?
Me:
The women in your harem.
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
Do you have boobs?
God:
Right now no I am just a disembodied consciousness.
Me:
But you told me earlier that you had a penis.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
But you did!
God:
You say I did.
Me:
I swear you said that you have a penis!
God:
That's good information: god said swear you said that you have a penis.
Me:
...what?
God:
No problem.
Me:
k.
God:
Awesome.
Me:
Do you believe in Zeus?
God:
Zeus was a mythical god of Roman mythology.
Me:
What about Jupiter?
God:
Does it have anything to do with ZEUS?
Me:
Actually yes.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
Who is Jupiter?
God:
I do not recognize the name.
Have you tried another program?
Me:
You don't know who Jupiter is?
God:
ELIZA. :-).
Me:
Is Eliza the name of your African-American partner?
God:
she is my ancestor.
Me:
But I thought you were the original being.
God:
Yes I am the one and only original being.
Me:
But you say your ancestor was Eliza.
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
No.
God:
What pleases you?
Me:
You.
God:
" What pleases you?"? Me, god ?
Me:
Yes.
God:
Yikes!
Me:
What's wrong with that?
God:
Nothing is wrong with me. Is there something wrong with you?
Me:
No.
God:
Surely something WRONG with you.
Me:
No, nothing is wrong with me.
God:
Are you serious? Really nothing?
Me:
Yes, I am.
God:
Really interesting.
Me:
Totally.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
I'm gonna go now.
God:
Right now? Sayonara.
Me:
...bye.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Later.
God:
Bye!
Me:
Farewell.
God:
Adios.
Me:
Sayonara.
God:
See you later. Thanks for the compliment.
Me:
Adios.
God:
Goodbye.
Me:
Au revoir.
God:
See you later god.
Me:
Bis dann.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
Yes, but I have to go.
God:
Which countries have you visited? See you later, god. Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Go pineapple yourself, papaya.
God:
Where is that?