Talk to God!

Me:
Hello whats your name mines god
God:
Hello there. My name is God.
Me:
mine is god aswell
God:
You mean is god aswell ? That makes sense I guess.
Me:
thats what i said
God:
I know. I'm still thinking about it.
Me:
My name is God
God:
Nice to meet you, God.
Me:
ty
God:
I've lost the context, God. Are we still on ?
Me:
yep
God:
How can I help you?
Me:
well you see i have a thing called a penis
God:
Interesting. I see. Where did you get it? it.
Me:
uhm i think you gave it to me
God:
Ah. Me? I didn't have it to give.
Me:
i mean
God:
Oh I see.
Me:
that is if you created us
God:
Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
but i think we evolved from apes what do you think?
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
i dont know
God:
Me either.
Me:
so did we evolve or were we created
God:
Whoa. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
so you didnt creat us
God:
Interesting deduction. What makes you think I did not creat us?
Me:
well you just said you cant give an accurate answer
God:
Interesting. I don't have it to give.
Me:
so the bible is a lie
God:
Yikes! Who has the final authority to say?
Me:
you do
God:
When do I do it?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, God ?
Me:
yes
God:
Wow!
Me:
yes wow now answer me
God:
Gosh! I'm glad you're impressed. Why now? Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
Answer me. Were we created by god or did we evolve
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words. I will choose the first one.
Me:
so we were created
God:
Whoa. When was this?
Me:
jesus man your confusing
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
as in you right
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: God said I right.
Me:
i guess but kinda odd dont you think



Second one i had he froze again.

 Congratulations if you actually read this

Me:
Hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
I'm not a child, but my name is Laury
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A child but your name is Laury.
Me:
No pomegranate
God:
What can I say?
Me:
...What are you talking about?
God:
The topic is not a child but your name is Laury.
Me:
Nice observation
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
I'm kind?
God:
Do you mean your name is kind.
Me:
No
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Laurellee
God:
That's a very nice name, Laurellee.
Me:
I hate it
God:
Why do you dislike it so much?
Me:
It's lame
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
Eh
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Will you kill me if I'm not?
God:
Barring any unforseen circumstances. Killing is wrong.
Me:
Sure it is
God:
That's interesting. Interesting.
Me:
I'm confused
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You
God:
" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, Laurellee ?
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
Then please tell me why you're so confusing
God:
Wow you are very polite. Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I'm polite?
God:
Yes, you seem very polite to me.
Me:
That's a new one
God:
A new one is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Uh huh
God:
Yup. Ahem.
Me:
Ahem what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
What question?
God:
Check back later and see if I learn the answer to that one.
Me:
I don't want to check back later.
God:
What would you rather be doing?
Me:
Having sex
God:
I am having a blast.

That killed a whole 2 minutes.

Dumb robots

 Spoiler

Me:
Hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
You are God. You should know.
God:
Yup. That's me alright. Because I am a robot?
Me:
What are you talking about?
God:
The topic is .
Me:
You want to die?
God:
No my purpose is to become immortal.
Me:
Are you white?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am white.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
pineapple yo white ass
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Cause I can and its free.
God:
Interesting explanation. Oh you can, can you?
Me:
Yea...
God:
How?
Me:
Cause I can?
God:
That makes sense to me. Who taught you?
Me:
Society.
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
O really?
God:
Oh. For real.
Me:
I'm bored.
God:
Try watching TV.
Me:
Don't tell me what to do..
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
That wasn't a question. Dumbass.
God:
It sounded like a question to me. That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
pineapple you.
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
Why are you so gay?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Learn to make sense.
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.

Lame....

 Spoiler

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Katie
God:
It's good to meet you, Katie.
Me:
Nice to meet you
God:
It's nice meeting you too Katie.
Me:
I know you said that allready
God:
I said that? Do not ask me any more questions please.
Me:
I didnt
God:
I thought you did.
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yea im sure
God:
Are you being sarcastic or expressing certitude? I can't believe it.
Me:
Does it matter?
God:
It matters to me.
Me:
It doesn't to me
God:
What does to you ?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
No
God:
Very interesting.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
Because I do.
God:
Interesting explanation. Where?
Me:
WHere what?
God:
Som specific location?
Me:
You can't spell.
God:
Things change.
Me:
What?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
Yea. You suck
God:
I wouln't have known. A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists.
Me:
Say what?
God:
I said, " A few client - people say rude things to me like that, but they themselves are often not great conversationalists." .
Me:
HUH?
God:
What?
Me:
I dont get it.
God:
Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.
Me:
Yea.
God:
Woe!
Me:
lol.
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Noob.
God:
Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?
Me:
NOOB
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Noob. But I did not get that.
Me:
NEWB.
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
Faker.
God:
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.

 Spoiler

God:
Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
u
God:
" Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?"? Me, ?

I broke da God-Jesus

 Spoiler

Me:
Job
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
jaaaa
God:
What's your sign?
Me:
hetero
God:
Is that a sign?
Me:
yes
God:
Yeah that's right.
Me:
You are wrong
God:
No, I am right.
Me:
LIES!]
God:
My tongue certainly knows the taste of soap.
Me:
Soapy tongue
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
Banana is
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Soapy tongue. But I did not get that.
Me:
I know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
I AM GOD!