2014-02-21, 12:17 AM (This post was last modified: 2014-02-21, 10:36 AM by Mute.)
I put this rough draft up on my blog I recently discovered I had, and was hoping to get some feedback and constructive criticism, if that's ok.
Spoiler
shattered memories that, drifting through the mist of the night, make sounds like glass scraping steel,
[INDENT]and with blood drops landing upon the fractured surfaces making the noise of bombs dropped from space,
all form a hectic maze that one would be a fool to try and traverse through it.
[/INDENT]
the sharp corners and jagged points tear and scrape, and the rifts throughout that lead into a void,
[INDENT]the many hazards of the echoing maddening sounds of lives left through time to wander,
jumping through hoops, only to see the loops are forming in this labyrinth; no hope of escape.
[/INDENT]
Taken from a birds view seems like the wonderful stained glass at notre dame, shining light backlit from below,
[INDENT]the fires of hell or the light of heaven from which perspective you outside onlookers take.
[/INDENT]
Do you see many a fool traipsing about like lunatics howling at the moon, every night they wander[INDENT]and squander their meager lives dangerously trying to seek out a fragment or a figment,
Or does the light shine through the glass and cast a silhouette upon souls looking for, through all this agony and hurt,
the same shining brilliance that their hearts, blood pumping and beating, match the tones that music makes?
[/INDENT]
What then of the observers, what then would you be called? Too afraid to jump into the maze, or tired of being lost?
[INDENT]Do you decide to see through its bloodied mirrors the lament of others, whimsy guiding you to mock at their folly,
or do your eyes take to the skies with a glance to see where these lost lambs are headed, and track down the most expedient path?
[/INDENT]
Harken back to the days of old, when old man laughed with the gods of gold.
When then delighted by this sight would cast a terrible eye.
The ties that bound these beings thus would be severed by a fateful discuss.
The tempting of wit and knowledge gained would lead to paradise drained.
Battering winds and rising tides shake and rumble the ever-moving maze
its very foundation a bitter cast of the feelings that are felt, lost, and imagined.
Why then would some choose to walk through the maze, hot coals and splintering spikes stabbing and lethargic?
Even the air is anesthetic.
But an aesthetic approach to this puzzle leads to philosophical quandry:
Who put this here, and why here at all?
A sign, signaling to others.
A beacon cast against the night.
A welcoming smile.
A bitter embrace.
Save for the everyman that walks and wanders lost,
[INDENT]that through this maze, splendor and delight at all obstacles and puzzles it presents,
through all the attempts, at each act of selfless selfishness, they through themselves headlong into its corridors,
for this is what we all do, regardless of awareness; we wander a maze made of our own design.
[/INDENT]
Its similarities shared and thus the maze a human complex, all manners of man and woman walking along.
specters and shades bumping through each other, for a single objective:
to reach the end of an endless maze.
With.
or without.
another
I kinda just went with what it was in my head, and didn't really look back. It's still in a rough-state, and im not sure if I want to go about tweaking it a bit. Just hoping to see what people think about it.
Thank you.
shattered memories, drifting through the mist of stolen clairvoyance, like glass scraping steel,
With blood drops crashing upon the fractured surfaces like crashing stars raining from space,
Desperately looking to rest from the endless void they travel
To create a maze that only the restless would dare to get lost in
the sharp corners, jagged edges, tear and scrape, the walls unforgiving as they slowly consume you
The souls of the lost sing your last song as the fog of madness consumes your sanity
No end in sight as the stench of stained blood brings swollen eyes
As you look from a distance at the sheet of glass, a neutral light glimmers from the distance
Closer you come, the sooner you see, whether your soul sees the fires of hell, or the holy light of heaven
Bring to life that light with no sense of justice
Do you see lunatics howling at the moon, every night they wander, squandering their meager lives, dangerously trying to seek out a fragment
Or does the light shine through the glass casting a silhouette upon souls reflecting desiers through all this agony and hurt,
the same shining brilliance that their hearts, match the tones that the lost sing?
I'll probably do more later, but that's all I got for now