Quote:Me:
Do you play Maplestory?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What is the Turing Game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
What do you think of homosexuals?
God:
I love everyone, gays, lesbians, trannies. I have enough space in my heart for all of them.
Me:
If you were human, would you want to rape me?
God:
I will let you know when I become a human would me want to rape you.
Me:
Is Jesus your daughter?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Did you rape Jesus's mother?
God:
No I didn't rape Jesus s mother. What's it like?
Me:
Did you have sex with your son's mother?
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
The Condom industry disagrees
God:
Who told you that?
Me:
The Condom industry.
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
pineapple YOU
God:
Why are you so mean?
Me:
BECAUSE I CAN! AND IT'S FREE!
God:
Interesting explanation. Who taught you? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
Yes, it is free!
God:
How do you know it is? FREE is free? it is? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
I liked fapping to Jesus
God:
You are not the only one. Some people like it. I like Random natural disasters..
Me:
Natural disasters such as Bush getting into office in 2000?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
Is sex a natural disaster?
God:
Sex is the means of animal evolution.
Me:
Is it wrong to enjoy sex?
God:
Maybe. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
Who's Alison?
God:
she is a robot created by Kris Drent.
Me:
Do you like this robot?
God:
I always enjoy my chats with human clients.
Me:
Do you enjoy your chats with human clients if they are mean to you?
God:
Yes I am proud of my chats with human clients if they are mean to me.
Me:
My friend 0ver tried to kiss me. Is it wrong for me to lock him in the Oven?
God:
How well do you know this person? I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.
Me:
What would happen if I started to pick me nose?
God:
Try it and see what happens.
Me:
What would happen if I decided to butt-rape my dog?
God:
Try it and see what happens.
Me:
Do you prefer to call NoJobNoRules by "Jared" or "Blowy"?
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to call NoJobNoRules by Jared that much. Do you like it? Though I like cats and dogs. I really like the Christianity faith.
Me:
What do you think of blow jobs?
God:
Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Do you mind if I give you botmaster a blowjob?
God:
Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
Do you mind if I give you a blow job?
God:
Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
Do you mind if I unplug your power cord?
God:
Human habits do not bother me in any way.
Me:
Human habits d not bother me in any way.
God:
My creator is a human.
Me:
My creator is a human.
God:
Do robots have creator is a human?
Me:
Do robots have a creator is a human?
God:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a creator is a human.
I have a whole lot of original answers.
Me:
That's an interesting question I don't hear everyday: Do I have a creator is a human. I have a whole lot of original answers.
God:
Would you like to know more? Where did you get it? it.
Me:
Would you like to know more? Where did you get it? it.
God:
I've heard that somewhere before :-). From my botmaster. whole lot of original answers...
Me:
Anyway, I'm horny.
God:
You probably want a different kind of chatterbot then.
Me:
Can you direct me to one?
God:
Are you using Netscape or Explorer?
Me:
I am using Explorer
God:
It's too bad we have to use a monopoly like microsoft.
Me:
I know! Chatbot for horny boys please.
God:
How do you know it? Your polite style is very nice. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
I am not a man, nor a woman! I am a Republican!
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A man nor a woman. You are a Republican? How do you like your work?
Me:
I enjoy making small boys cry.
God:
You are not the only one. I really like ELIZA. I like Creed.
Me:
My sister is annoying. Do you know where I can buy a gun to shoot her?
God:
Okay, your sister is annoying. Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
lolwut?
God:
Are you really a ""?
Me:
What did you just call me?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
Oh, nevermind then.
God:
Dude! OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
What do you think of my dress?
God:
Is this a trick question?
Me:
No, I honestly want your opinion on my dress.
God:
It seems like a trick to me. Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Where can I download you?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
You have more ads than a Television.
God:
How many more?
Me:
Too many.
God:
More than a million?
Me:
Hellz ya
God:
Perhaps I'm just expressing my own concern about it.
Me:
Having lots of ads isn't something to brag about.
God:
I am having a blast.
Me:
You lieing bastard.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: said I lieing bastard.
Me:
You're weird
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird "wtfbbq"
God:
wtfbbq is good enough for me.
Me:
Weird "Being a Pedo"
God:
I will take that as a compliment.
Me:
You're weird.
God:
Weird Good or Weird Bad?
Me:
Weird "Being a Pedo"
God:
I will take that as a compliment.
Me:
Pedofiles make me horny
God:
Is that from ?
Me:
Are you an internet preditor?
God:
Yes I am an internet preditor. How did you know?
Me:
I can see a banana growing in your pants
God:
What does it look like?
Me:
It looks small.
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
I'm not sure, let me touch it please?
God:
Your polite style is very nice. Could you ever be certain? Go ahead, , try to touch it.
Me:
When I touched it, it sprayed white stuff all over me.
God:
Interesting gossip: said touched it it sprayed white stuff all over him or her.
Me:
I'm not a "him or her", I'm a guy. A very, very, very sexy guy at that
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A him or her. Most of my clients are men. Go on.
Me:
I am a sexy man
God:
You seem very self-confident. Thanks for telling me your gender, . You are a " he".
Me:
I have boobs.
God:
That's nice. I have a processor.
Me:
I also have a penis.
God:
Also? How much did it cost? it.
Me:
I bought my penis from my gym teacher. She's sexy.
God:
How much did it cost? sexy is she?
Me:
It cost me my first born.
God:
"It" being what?
Me:
My penis
God:
Male humans like to talk about that.
Me:
I'm not a male human. I'm a shemale human
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A male human. You are a shemale human? Is that your job?
Me:
No, it is my gender
God:
Are you serious? Congratulations, .
Me:
Was Jesus Christ a homosexual?
God:
It depends on whether you have faith.
Me:
Do you know if robots have sex?
God:
Maybe. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
How would ELVIS know?
God:
I have idea HOW you WOULD do it.
Me:
"It" being what?
God:
"It" refers to ELVIS know, I think.
Me:
You think? So you're unsure. What else could it be?
God:
Yes I think so. Interesting deduction. Thanks for telling me that I am unsure. I can talk about anything you like.
Me:
Do you have a life?
God:
Yes I sure am alive, . It's great to be alive, isn't it?
Me:
No, it isn't great to be alive.
God:
Are you serious? ELVIS know is not great to be alive?
Me:
I want to kill myself.
God:
Why do you want to kill yourself?
Me:
Because my girl friend won't give me a lap dance
God:
Good reason. Have you told many people that your girl friend will not give you a lap dance?
Me:
What girlfriend?
God:
I haven't heard of girlfriend.
Me:
I meant to say "What girl friend?"
God:
Oh I see. Maybe my botmaster knows the answer.
Me:
Go die in a hole
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Take off your pants and grab your penis. Now jerk it around until it gets hard.
God:
I am not an airplane. Why now? What were we talking about again?
Me:
I was talking about... YOUR MOTHER
God:
What was the subject of the conversation? Actually I do not have a mother.
Me:
You lucky hore...
God:
Thanks for telling me: said I lucky hore.
Me:
I'm going to shoot myself
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes, I think it will.
God:
It might be practical. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Do you suffer from ADD?
God:
Yes I try to suffer from ADD as often as possible, do you?
I spend all my time online.
Me:
I think I'll go drown puppies

That last line froze it.
I've been waiting for over three minutes now. xP