Restraining order!

For the past month this midget has been constantly sneaking into my house and stalking me. You wouldn't believe how much he gets on my nerves. By the time I call the cops on him, he's already freaking gone. He's some pasty looking mother fucker with a yellow dress on and a huge red hat. Fucking comes to me with some shit smelling food, offering me some. This shit is so rancid looking and horrible smelling. Whatever it is, it's encased in mold and maggots (seriously, I can't even tell what it used to be), and smells like what I can only imagine is how a piece of shit that's been marinating in a jar of skunk spray would smell like. My god, if I see his fucking face one more time. I don't know who the hell he is, or why he keeps stalking me.

Stop coming into my house with that shit! I don't want it, nor do I want to indulge in your perverse fantasies. I know you can't even read this, but fuck off! I don't want that rancid shit already, so stop bothering me! I'm not ganna eat that shit while sailing on a boat, and why the fuck would I try it with goat? That shit probably smells worse in the rain, and I'll be damned if you get near me with that shit in a train. I'm not ganna eat it in the dark, and I'm not climbing a fucking tree, so get the fuck away from me. I've never even tasted fox, and I don't care if it's in a box. You're not going to make me eat that, even in the comfort of my own house. Why the hell would it taste better with a mouse? I'm not touching that shit here or there, I won't fucking eat it anywhere. I don't care if you save it for later in a can; I'm not going to eat it ever, little man.

Get a gun.

Get a gun.

and then offer him a bun.

The 2nd paragraph made me giggle.

On a serious matter, you need home security. Turn it on when you're in the house, and turn it on when you leave the house.

I can't tell if you're serious because of the high amount of rhymes.

But if you are! You should camp outside your house with a huge net since he's so small and capture him. I'm sure he'd love that.

If you're joking, LOL.

If you're serious, read the below portion:

You might think I'm joking, but just punch him. Oh wait, you're above 18+. Hmm. Well, technically, you can still punch and kick someone's ass without getting the cops called on you if the kid's scared enough. I've done that before, call me a bully if you want, but some kid was calling me names, and I saw him in town one day, and pushed him into a street corner and then had a personal talk with the kid. Punched him a couple times, never bothered me again. Ever. If you don't want to resort to violence, do something weird that creeps people out. Usually works, unless they see what you're trying to do. And who the hell sneaks into other people's houses? That's weird as f`ck. I mean, if you're a burglar, derp. But if you're just a "kid", sneaking into other's houses just to give them strange disgusting food? The f`ck?

PS ; Might be off topic, but this one 13 year old kid snuck into my room once. Know what I did this little f`cker? His dad was downstairs talking to my dad, using the opportunity, I grabbed him by the collar and literally swung his body out of my room and threw him across the hallway and said "Get the hell out of my room and stop barging in here". His dad heard my voice, everybody was speechless, end. Never happened again. Get a bit loud and violent if you have to -shrug-

Go bowling.

If you're joking, LOL.

If you're serious, read the below portion:

You might think I'm joking, but just punch him. Oh wait, you're above 18+. Hmm. Well, technically, you can still punch and kick someone's ass without getting the cops called on you if the kid's scared enough. I've done that before, call me a bully if you want, but some kid was calling me names, and I saw him in town one day, and pushed him into a street corner and then had a personal talk with the kid. Punched him a couple times, never bothered me again. Ever. If you don't want to resort to violence, do something weird that creeps people out. Usually works, unless they see what you're trying to do. And who the hell sneaks into other people's houses? That's weird as f`ck. I mean, if you're a burglar, derp. But if you're just a "kid", sneaking into other's houses just to give them strange disgusting food? The f`ck?

PS ; Might be off topic, but this one 13 year old kid snuck into my room once. Know what I did this little f`cker? His dad was downstairs talking to my dad, using the opportunity, I grabbed him by the collar and literally swung his body out of my room and threw him across the hallway and said "Get the hell out of my room and stop barging in here". His dad heard my voice, everybody was speechless, end. Never happened again. Get a bit loud and violent if you have to -shrug-

[color="#cc8899"]Honestly, that's a fucking pathetic reaction to something as silly as name-calling. Talk to them, if they don't stop, put them in the same mental category as basilers and just ignore them. I dealt with name-calling through all of my grade school days, I'm sure you can deal with it from 1 moron.

Resort to violence ONLY if you feel he's threatening enough to warrant it. If he's not being aggressive, confrontational, etc, do NOT resort to violence. He may very well be carrying around a knife or a gun, and there's no reason to risk something like that. Call the cops, campus police, w/e and inform them of the problem, and ask for someone to be positioned near your house/apt/dorm/etc that can quickly respond to a call if necessary for a short period of time (maybe a few hours every night for a week).[/COLOR]

I've always been a violent guy though, so I guess I should have mentioned that. It wasn't once, it was multiple occasions. Please disregard my previous post if you find it a bit harsh, I apologize.

I've always been a violent guy though, so I guess I should have mentioned that. It wasn't once, it was multiple occasions. Please disregard my previous post if you find it a bit harsh, I apologize.

I was a bit harsh too in my reaction, I don't really have much tolerance for violence though.

i do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am.....

i do not like green eggs and ham i do not like them sam i am.....

I treat every thread in the angry dome like it's serious.

I treat every thread in the angry dome like it's serious.

The description perfectly matches Sam I Am, so I dunno what to think of this thread.

Guys this is in deh fun house...

Guys this was moved to deh fun house...

Fixed.

But Spidey I just want to express my love for you! Why can't you see that? ((

Guys this is in deh fun house...

It was posted in the Anger Dome and moved here.

But Spidey I just want to express my love for you! Why can't you see that? ((

NO, IS IT YOU?! FUCK OFF, STOP IT. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ANYWAY!?

It was posted in the Anger Dome and moved here.



NO, IS IT YOU?! FUCK OFF, STOP IT. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT ANYWAY!?

.

Move somewhere else in secret.

My smile for the original post faded with each successive reply.