Who Comes Up With This Stuff?

Obviously sorting through emails is tedious, boring, and rather annoying. But of course, there is the junk email that makes the day a bit lighter.

Email 1: Foreign Hoe

Hello my friend!

I write you this letter as today on mine e-mail has come the Internet
Dispatch with yours e-mail. In the given letter, it was spoken about
the love Relations between people. Therefore I have decided to write
you the letter on yours e-mail. I as to search for serious relations
as I wish to find The true love. My name is Lusik. I, as well as all
women of our country, I like to cook food as to go in for sports. I do
not smoke and not I take alcohol. I search for the real man who will
love, and To respect me. I wish to get acquainted with you more close,
by means of e-mail.

Please answer only to my personal e-mail: aslusik@yahoo.com

I hope, that you will answer me mine e-mail the address. As I with the
big Impatience I will wait your letter to me, with more detailed story.

Lusik.

Email 2: What the Hell

Hi Jane, After the birth of our first child I started to feel changes in our love life. Frank was concerned, he asked what was the matter with me, but I was too shy to tell him the truth. I needed a bigger size. Finally I�ve mustered all my courage to tell him. Everything was happily resolved. Ann

Email 3: I'm not Mike

Hi, Mike, Thanks for sending me this link. At last I’ve found an online casino I feel very comfortable with. You know, I’ve tried a lot of them. First of all I like the software, the clarity and colors, the variety of games. The customer service is cool too and everyone is just so nice! Thanks a lot, Cliff

So, are you thinking of having a serious relationship with this Lusik girl?

Well now that I have Lusik's personal e-mail, I think I'm going to get to know her.

Well now that I have Lusik's personal e-mail, I think I'm going to get to know her.

I'm more interested in the fact that a Southperican has a child. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE SWERVE?!?

So if I tell him I need someone with a bigger size, everything will turn out okay...?

So, are you thinking of having a serious relationship with this Lusik girl?

Definitely. Lusik sounds banging. I'll take her AIDS and all. While I'm at it, I might as well be a high roller and hang out with Cliff as well. Man that guy knows his software and his colors. With all the drama going on I really like to hang around with nice people who are gradually taking my money away from me while some random server host in godsnowhere makes profit. Hey look! You have my two interests right there. Girls and money. Genius. Simply genius.

Southperry. Let us go hither and find THE TRUE LOVE. We must bring it back to the forum board. Sink or swim. We cannot allow this hate to rule over us. The virgin Lusik has shown us the light.

I hope everything turns out well for you three.

So if I tell him I need someone with a bigger size, everything will turn out okay...?

Stay in it until you can trick him into marriage, then tell him you need someone with a bigger size. If he responds negatively get ready for CLOBBERIN TIME the divorce, and demand half.

Easy get rich scam. Try it some time.

So, are you thinking of having a serious relationship with this Lusik girl?

I know I am. Her way with words... Very hot.

Naturally, I'm wearing a pimp hat.

Why is my hair blue?

Why is my hair blue?

Sky-diving accident. Very traumatic. Your family cried for hours.