Regrettable moments in the life of B

For this game, pick a regrettable moment in the life of a fictitious person named B. It could be an action on B's part, or someone associated with B. It does not have to be realistic, it can be (should be) funny.

For example: When B was an infant, his mommy fed him breast milk while having a BAC of 30%. B became a lifelong alcoholic as of 2 weeks old.

B, at the age of 12, started playing Maple Story. Through the continuation of his MMO addiction, B recieved failing grades throughout high school and tried for a GED. Now, as an alchoholic and basement dweller, B washes dishes at Applebees.

B was destined to be a game designer, he worked hard in school, and whenever he could he would play videos games for hours. The playing video games part took over and he now lives with his mother at the age of 33 in the basement. He also works at Target as a customer service rep. Poor, poor B.

B, being the scrawny loser he is, started a fight with someone twice his size, and took a nice, hard uppercut in his package. B is now sterile.

B, sick and tired of his mother, decided to assassinate her. B is now a fugitive, living in Cuba, running away from his past.

B got married and had children with C. Unfortunately C died and children D and A died too, and B had to pay over 3,000,000,000,000 meso in medicare bills.

B enjoys /B/.

Once upon a time there lived a high school student named B. B was a morbid fellow, seeing no pleasure or joy in life, and he began doing drugs and cutting himself. He got lured into the murky underworld of LiveJournal, and became increasingly more emo. He wrote pages upon pages of $hitty Naruto fanfics, and quit his studies and part-time job to play World of Warcraft. He decided to do a marathon of 60 end-game raids, and died at his computer after playing 52 hours of World of Warcraft non-stop. His in-game funeral was crashed by Horde @ssholes, and by last Thursday he was completely forgotten by everyone in this world. That is, all but one person from his high school, who spray-painted "basement-dweller" on his tombstone.

Fin

Fin

So that's it?

What a boring life B had.

So that's it?

What a boring life B had.

O.o

None of the posts are in any conjunction with any of the other posts. I am probably going to make another one myself later.

Blahblahblah, B became an hero.

The end.

Once upon a time there lived a high school student named B. B was a morbid fellow, seeing no pleasure or joy in life, and he began doing drugs and cutting himself. He got lured into the murky underworld of LiveJournal, and became increasingly more emo. He wrote pages upon pages of $hitty Naruto fanfics, and quit his studies and part-time job to play World of Warcraft. He decided to do a marathon of 60 end-game raids, and died at his computer after playing 52 hours of World of Warcraft non-stop. His in-game funeral was crashed by Horde @ssholes, and by last Thursday he was completely forgotten by everyone in this world. That is, all but one person from his high school, who spray-painted "basement-dweller" on his tombstone.

Fin

So....B = Quantact?

So....B = Quantact?

No, B is a living entity embodying the soul of /b/. The cancer that is killing /b/ is going to kill B first.

The question of cosmic proportions remains: can B live through the regrettable moments in the life of B? Or will he be doomed to an eternity of fail?

I agree though, we need to vary on his fail a little more, it's gotten redundant.

B wasn't cool enough, so jumped of the bridge... He didn't die, which gained him 20000000000 fame points...
The government though he was cheating, so banded him!
poor poor B?

B's girlfriend's mother had just found out B and his girlfriend have been having sex. Instead of getting angry, she asks B's girlfriend how he is. B's girlfriend replies with she's had better... B's girlfriend was a virgin when they started going out and hasn't had any other sexual partners. FBL

b's girlfriend's mother had just found out b and his girlfriend have been having sex. Instead of getting angry, she asks b's girlfriend how he is. B's girlfriend replies with she's had better... B's girlfriend was a virgin when they started going out and hasn't had any other sexual partners. Fbl

FBL. LOL.

c

B is really adopted...

B is really adopted...

He was the sperm that missed.

B just received an IRL ban.

B just received an IRL ban.

IRL PERMAban. He was dropped into a canned Spam processing machine for being a complete and utter failure.