Mom's own iPhone use ToC (Terms of Conditions) to her son

http://news.yahoo.com/moms-18-point-ipho...2U-;_ylv=3

A bit of background: This mom has a son - who is 13 years old - who wanted a iPhone as a Christmas present. He got the iPhone, but with plenty of strings attached. Take a look at the contract he has to agree to to be able to use his phone:

Dear Gregory

Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good & responsible 13 year old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.

I love you madly & look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.

1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.

3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad". Not ever.

4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30pm every school night & every weekend night at 9:00pm. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30am. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.

5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.

6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.

7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.

8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.

9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.

10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person ? preferably me or your father.

11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.

12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.

13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.

14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO -- fear of missing out.

15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.

16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.

17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone. Merry Christmas!

xoxoxo

Mom

This caught my eye earlier today. After reading it, I have to be honest: I strongly agree with virtually every rule listed. The woman's son in question is now at the point in his life where he's transitioning into a young adult. At that point, he will find himself in numerous situations - both good and bad - and gradually assume more responsibilities for his own actions overall.

If I ever have kids, I may consider doing something like this to them once they are old enough to gain the privilege of having a cellphone, of course! Being responsible and maintaining discipline with cellphone use can go long ways out.

Thoughts?

I agree with *most* of them, but for pineapple's sake. It's a gift. I feel as though some parents are a little bit TOO stiff.

Edit: actually fully read through the list. These aren't THAT bad, some of them irk me though.

If my parents did this to me chances are I would decline the gift and ask them to reconsider their own actions rather than trying to improve mine.

Along with something along the lines of, "Hey, this is supposed to be a gift, not a loan. You can take it back, I don't want your loan."

I don't know, the entire thing actually irks me greatly. It's also surprising to me that you're even considering doing this to your own child.

I agree with some of them, but for pineapple's sake. It's a gift. I feel as though some parents are a little bit TOO stiff.

True, but to be fair such rules and guidelines also help her son to become a better adult so it can be considered a gift as well.

EDIT: While it may look restricting, pretty much everything spelled out in the conditions are either things you should be minding anyway such as not bringing it to school where a lot could happen, recommendations that are sound and there's nothing concrete in there about punishment. It's really no different from what any parent would expect from their kid in my opinion, it's just spelled out.

I didn't know christmas was about giving with strings attached. Weird world we live in.

Honestly, these are pretty straight forward and reasonable. I don't see why anyone would disagree. It sounds a lot like everything my own mother would say. The way I see it, it's more like suggestions on how to be a responsible adult and how to stay out of trouble than "YOU MUST DO THIS." Anyone who has half a mind can follow these points with ease and should do so already without having being told.

Respectable intent, though I think a lot of the life lessons Mom is trying to give with the iPhone are a bit beyond her son; thirteen year olds aren't the most keen in understanding these things. Though I guess attaching responsibilities to something the kid is attached to is a good way to teach him.

I didn't know christmas was about giving with strings attached. Weird world we live in.

Christmas isn't about spoiling your kids either.

It's too restrictive. This doesn't help the kid grow up, it only helps his mom have some tranquility over what's going on with his son's life.
I doubt the kid will learn anything with it, I doubt he will make any mistakes, he's got no liberty to really mess things up.
It will only make mom's life easier, having almost total control over his kid's phone.
It would be a good idea if it wasn't so god damn restrictive.

I didn't know christmas was about giving with strings attached. Weird world we live in.

When do you ever get stuff for free? People always expect a present back, a "thank you", gratitude or something.
Different string, but there's always strings attached to gifts.

Honestly, these are pretty straight forward and reasonable. I don't see why anyone would disagree. It sounds a lot like everything my own mother would say. The way I see it, it's more like suggestions on how to be a responsible adult and how to stay out of trouble than "YOU MUST DO THIS." Anyone who has half a mind can follow these points with ease and should do so already without having being told.

Reasonable for who? And for what purpose?
Yes, they're suggestions but it's also a "YOU MUST DO THIS", or else it wouldn't be a contract.

Yeah, I take back what I said (mostly). I understand the mother's intent, and forgot that different households have different rules. This could mostly be rules this child already follows and understands as a part of their daily life. I forget to think of every side of the story sometimes, that's all.

When do you ever get stuff for free? People always expect a present back, a "thank you", gratitude or something.
Different string, but there's always strings attached to gifts.

If you expect something in return for a gift, then you're doing it wrong.

Reasonable for who? And for what purpose?
Yes, they're suggestions but it's also a "YOU MUST DO THIS", or else it wouldn't be a contract.

You have to remember : The kid is thirteen years old. He's highly under the influence of a lot of bad things at that age. Most kids that age don't have the thought process going through their head to make a proper judgement call. They just follow what their friends or other people do. She wants her kid to be a good student, a good kid, and eventually a mature, responsible adult. While the kid may not have the understanding for every reasoning behind each of the rules, they're perfectly acceptable for a mother to impose on her own child.


Sure, it's a contract. Do you think she'll really take his phone away if he doesn't play word/brain teaser games? No. No, I don't think she would.


I know for sure, even if I were the best, most responsible kid in the world at age 13, my parents would never let me have an iPhone or some high tech gadget that you can use for all sorts of mischief and impure acts - at least not without rules similar to these.

Am I the only one who disagrees with giving a 13 year old an iPhone in the first place?

If you expect something in return for a gift, then you're doing it wrong.

Are you serious? Maybe that's you but I doubt many follow your mindset. Most people do charity, not because it helps others, but because it makes them feel good about themselves.
I asked my family not to gift me anything, because I know they're expecting something back: me calling or visiting or whatever.
I don't accept gifts from people at school and I could go on.
There's no such thing as altruism, and I've yet to see or picture a situation where one does something expecting nothing in return. NOTHING.
Even if the situation is as silly as gifting something to someone on christmas.

@Link 1. The list isn't only advice about what to play. 2. How can one become responsible if parents are looking at everything you do?
If they were really advices, give him the phone and maybe write down your advices and the liberty not to follow them. He'll learn more from his mistakes than from how his parents control him.
I agree with Maspan, why give him the phone in the first place?

Am I the only one who disagrees with giving a 13 year old an iPhone in the first place?

Nope, but it's nowhere as bad as those kids who are ages 4 ~ 12 who play gory, violent, and mature games such as Call of Duty.

They're good morals to instill in a child, though I can see where some of you are coming from.

I don't know, they all seem reasonable to me. Overbearing and protective? Sure. Completely ludicrous? Not really.

@Words; that sounds like your own twisted way of thinking and past experiences. There are people who exist that try to make other people happy and do not expect anything in return.

I agree with a few of those, but it seems a bit restrictive. Not like he needs an iPhone though.

I honestly hate this, my stepdad is pretty much like this, and he doesn't skip a chance to remind us so, all he makes me want is to leave the house and never come back.

/personal issues

Am I the only one who disagrees with giving a 13 year old an iPhone in the first place?

This was my first thought. It's not that I'm opposed to the things an iPhone can do, just the idea of trusting a 13 year old with something that expensive. How many mowed lawns will it take to replace it?

My little brother (now 13 in fact) has an android phone which was free although the associated data plan was not. While our parents reserve the right to look through it, track it, view web history etc, they have yet to ever do so. He uses it to call/text his friends, occasionally Google something, and more than anything read books using the Nook app. If a teacher ever confiscated it during class, there would be hell to pay (my mother is a teacher). But taking it away during school hours is rather counterproductive. Part of the reason a child this age should have a phone is so a parent/child can contact the parent/child if they are running late, there has been a change of plans, or in case of emergency. If anything, you can automatically disable web usage during school hours so that the only danger is texting during class and teachers are pretty adept at noticing this.

Most of these rules I read as more good advice than anything. That said, I wouldn't accept these conditions for myself, but they seem rather reasonable for a 13 yr old who can be allowed a toy while being responsible.

I honestly hate this, my stepdad is pretty much like this, and he doesn't skip a chance to remind us so, all he makes me want is to leave the house and never come back.

/personal issues

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From the way this one was written, I don't think the mother's intent was to be tyrannical about it. All of the rules are pretty normal things to say when giving a phone to someone who's barely a teenager, she just took the trouble to write them down. I got a very similar speech with my first phone at...sixteen. Not thirteen. And that phone didn't have any internet or game capability, all it could do was call, text, and take pictures.

I HIGHLY disagree with giving a 13 y/o a tool like an iPhone that has such a vast selection of ways to make a poor decision that has far-reaching consequences. I would hope at least that he had a less capable phone previously that he proved himself with. At any rate, there's too much that he can use the phone to access unmonitored, so I fully agree with the restrictions they imposed (and wouldn't be surprised if they're tech savvy enough to follow up behind him and check his activity with it when he hands it over each night).[/COLOR]

I agree with MasPan in that it's too early to be giving an iPhone to a kid at that age.

However, since it was done, I agree with just about all of those rules. Most, if not all, of those rules deal with concepts that people should have taken to heart a long time ago. For example, not being rude when someone is talking to you and pulling out your phone and doing pomegranate on it. There's also no need to bring a phone to school either, as school has phones out the ass that every student has access to if the need arises. Kids who bring phones to school aren't using them what they are meant to be used for. Not only that, the risk factor of it getting destroyed is excessively higher than if they didn't.

Honestly I don't see one rule I don't agree with, and hell, when most of us got our first phones, it was almost exactly the same ruleset. The only difference is that we didn't get it in writing.

The best one is definitely,

18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You & I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.

It's outlining the exact punishment for making a mistake, and it's not very harsh either. I don't see any issue with this at all.

This was my first thought. It's not that I'm opposed to the things an iPhone can do, just the idea of trusting a 13 year old with something that expensive. How many mowed lawns will it take to replace it?

My little brother (now 13 in fact) has an android phone which was free although the associated data plan was not. While our parents reserve the right to look through it, track it, view web history etc, they have yet to ever do so. He uses it to call/text his friends, occasionally Google something, and more than anything read books using the Nook app. If a teacher ever confiscated it during class, there would be hell to pay (my mother is a teacher). But taking it away during school hours is rather counterproductive. Part of the reason a child this age should have a phone is so a parent/child can contact the parent/child if they are running late, there has been a change of plans, or in case of emergency. If anything, you can automatically disable web usage during school hours so that the only danger is texting during class and teachers are pretty adept at noticing this.

Most of these rules I read as more good advice than anything. That said, I wouldn't accept these conditions for myself, but they seem rather reasonable for a 13 yr old who can be allowed a toy while being responsible.

My son is 12.5 and just recently got his first phone. Just a dumb Nokia. Precisely for that purpose of being able to stay in touch. I insist he take it with him everywhere. They're not allowed to have their phones out in school, but they are allowed to have them, turned off, in their bags. My son cracked the screen on his phone within the first week, btw. That's actually fine with me. The phone still works as a phone, he can accept calls and make calls (to numbers he remembers by heart). Everything else is unnecessary. He has a PC at home for looking stuff up, facebook, etc (and has of course been indoctrinated in all the necessary safety rules), he has a Wii and a 3DS for playing games. Phone is for phoning.

As for the rules in the OP... Meh, OK, if you absolutely have to give a kid that young an iPhone.

One rule that is sorely missing is "No using the phone while walking." There's rule 17 but it talks about looking at scenery and such. I'm talking about looking for oncoming traffic. About watching where you're going. I keep seeing both kids and adults crossing the street with their eyes in their palms, or up in the sky while their attention is on the phone at their ears. No no no. If you need to make or take a call, or to read something, stand or sit away from traffic and do it. When you're walking, or riding a bike, or (for you older kids out there) driving, leave the phone alone.