2008-11-19, 01:29 PM
This is certainly food for thought!
If something were to happen to me, a few things would happen. My oldest son would go to live with his father, who I'm sure would be sad that I am gone, as we are still friends. My younger son, (and any subsequent children my fiance and I may choose to have) would stay with my fiance. If I were either dead, or had sustained enough brain injury that there is no higher brain function, I would expect my fiance to do what he needs to do to be happy. It's not easy to raise children by yourself, and I can't say that I would want him to stay single the rest of his life. Our son will be a constant reminder of my memory, and that will be sufficient.
If I were to become disabled, what actions were taken would depend on the severity of the disability. Am I confined to a wheelchair? There are more than enough ways to continue a normal life with a wheelchair. Am I bedridden? More difficult to handle, but if my mind is still with me, I'm sure we could work around it. But if I were to lose my mental faculties, and essentially not be the "same" person I once was, I would expect my fiance to do what is in the best interest of all of us, just as I would in the same situation.
But what about a potentially temporary situation? What if you were in a coma, perhaps for a few months to a few years, but there is a good chance you will wake up. Would you want your partner to stick by you so long as there is real hope (and I don't mean Terry Schiavo fluff hope, I mean a real chance of waking, no bullpomegranate.) How would you feel if you were to wake up and your partner HAD moved on? Would you be angry? Or would you just accept that it was out of your control and subsequently try to move on with your own life?
I must admit I find this more difficult, particularly as I am deeply committed to my fiance, and we do have children together, so for better or worse, our lives are linked in that way regardless.
If something were to happen to me, a few things would happen. My oldest son would go to live with his father, who I'm sure would be sad that I am gone, as we are still friends. My younger son, (and any subsequent children my fiance and I may choose to have) would stay with my fiance. If I were either dead, or had sustained enough brain injury that there is no higher brain function, I would expect my fiance to do what he needs to do to be happy. It's not easy to raise children by yourself, and I can't say that I would want him to stay single the rest of his life. Our son will be a constant reminder of my memory, and that will be sufficient.
If I were to become disabled, what actions were taken would depend on the severity of the disability. Am I confined to a wheelchair? There are more than enough ways to continue a normal life with a wheelchair. Am I bedridden? More difficult to handle, but if my mind is still with me, I'm sure we could work around it. But if I were to lose my mental faculties, and essentially not be the "same" person I once was, I would expect my fiance to do what is in the best interest of all of us, just as I would in the same situation.
But what about a potentially temporary situation? What if you were in a coma, perhaps for a few months to a few years, but there is a good chance you will wake up. Would you want your partner to stick by you so long as there is real hope (and I don't mean Terry Schiavo fluff hope, I mean a real chance of waking, no bullpomegranate.) How would you feel if you were to wake up and your partner HAD moved on? Would you be angry? Or would you just accept that it was out of your control and subsequently try to move on with your own life?
I must admit I find this more difficult, particularly as I am deeply committed to my fiance, and we do have children together, so for better or worse, our lives are linked in that way regardless.