Computer Issues as of Lately

I'm running safe mode for the exact reason it's called safe mode: to keep my computer safe. I don't want any fishy thingamajigs futzing with my computer. Got any suggestions for where I can get more RAM?

but thats not how safe mode works at all.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Safe_mode

An operating system in safe mode will have reduced functionality, but the task of isolating problems is easier because many non-core components are disabled (turned off). An installation that will only boot into its safe mode typically has a major problem, such as disk corruption or the installation of poorly configured software that prevents the operating system from successfully booting into its normal operating mode.

Though it varies by operating system, typically safe mode loads as few executable modules as possible and usually disables devices, except for the minimum necessary to display information and accept input. Safe mode can also take the form of a parallel "miniature" operating system that has no configuration information shared with the normal operating system. For example, on Microsoft Windows, the user can also choose to boot to the Recovery Console, a small text-based troubleshooting mode kept separate from the main operating system (and can also be accessed by booting the install CD), or to various "safe mode" options that run the dysfunctional operating system, but with features such as video drivers, audio and networking disabled.

Safe mode typically provides access to utility and diagnostic programs so a user can troubleshoot what is preventing the operating system from working normally. Safe mode is intended for maintenance, not functionality, and provides minimal access to features.