Organizing Straight Pride Parade

We need giant penis balloons to make this work. Really gigantic penis balloons with hairy ass balls that would rape any passerby. If our penis balloons aren't any bigger than the ones used in the gay parade, then our parade is utterly screwed.

I also recommend plenty of anti-dildo and anti-fleshlight posters. Natural is the way to go. If it ain't with a man and a woman, it has got to go.