JUNE 28 lS CAPS LOCK DAY

HI BILLY MAYS HERE, TO TELL YOU ABOUT THE NEW iPHONE 4. THIS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGICAL SUPERIORITY IS HIGH AND ABOVE THE REST OF THE OTHER CELLULAR PHONES ON THE MARKET TODAY, AND HERES WHY:

• IT CAN BE USED AS A BLUNT WEAPON TO DEFEND YOURSELF FROM THOSE STARVING HOMELESS PEOPLE THAT YOU SEE ON STREET BENCHES, STEALING YOUR SEAT!
  
• IF YOU HOLD IT JUST RIGHT, YOU CAN THROW IT LIKE A FRISBEE AND AMAZINGLY IT WILL RETURN TO YOU WITH THE HEAD OF YOUR ENEMIES IMPALED THROUGH IT!
  
• IF YOU TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN YOU CAN USE IT TO COOK EGGS WITH, AS WELL AS A STEAK. AND WITH PATENTED TECHNOLOGICAL APPLE iGROOVES, THE GREASE WILL SLIDE OFF OF THE PHONE LEAVING BEHIND NO STICKY RESIDUE!
  
• IF YOU SUFFER A STROKE OR A HEART ATTACK, SIMPLY REMOVE THE BATTERY PACK, AND THE iPHONE AND BATTERY PACK TOGETHER WILL ACT AS AN EMERGENCY DEFIBRILLATOR UNIT!
  
• IF YOU FOLD YOUR NEW iPHONE 4 IN HALF, YOU WILL BE ABLE TO PULL OUT AND UTILIZE THE NEW iPHONE 4 CALIBER HANDGUN APP, WHERE REAL ACTUAL BULLETS WILL BE FIRED FROM YOUR iPHONE THAT ARE CAPABLE OF KILLING ANY ONCOMING ATTACKERS.
  • AND IF YOU USE OUR SPECIALLY DESIGNED AMMUNITION, IT IS EVEN CAPABLE OF PUNCTURING SOLID REINFORCED STEEL!
    
  
  
• THE POSSIBILITIES ARE SIMPLY ENDLESS!
  

SO, HEAD DOWN TO YOUR NEAREST VERIZON STORE TODAY AND ORDER A NEW iPHONE 4 TODAY! AND AS A SPECIAL BONUS, IF YOU ORDER ONE IN THE NEXT TWENTY MINUTES, WE'LL THROW IN AT NO EXPENSE TO YOU, THE APPLE ONA-HOLE APP FOR THOSE LONG NIGHTS SPENT ALONE WITHOUT THE COMFORTING TOUCH OF ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO BE ALONE AGAIN WITH THE NEW iPHONE 4. ORDER NOW.

EDIT::
i highly regret making this post.

its sad that his voice is still so loud and echoing in my head if i read things in his voice. Like Eartha Kitt, Morgan Freeman, and Sean Connery; his voice will forever ring in the annuls of history's ears.

least that other hack is out of the spotlight.