I wish I could understand Japanese

Eh... Learning Japanese for anime isn't a good choice... You'll end up giving up very easily and you'll hate it. It's better just to get some patience. Most fan subs I've seen can get out subbed episodes of anime within a day of the anime's airing on Japanese television.

Indeed, it's not a very good idea to learn it if you're just interested in anime.

Hell, if you're too impatient to wait for subs, you're probably too impatient to learn it either.

Of course, Rusty was just wishing, so I assume he means magically absorbing the whole language in one go without work. In which case, I think it'd be a waste of a wish if you're just using it on anime, but it's not my wish...