How was your day?

I've lost my appetite. My enthusiasm. I don't think I've really been happy in two weeks.

Things with her hit rock bottom today. Although I think now I've learned from all the mistakes I've made and have started to improve a little. I can tell there's still a chance. I just can't make any more mistakes.

I normally hate when people post depressing crap but I guess now I understand. I feel so horrible I've stopped caring about pretty much everything, including what people think of me.

I've tried doing things to distract me. I was up from 7-3 outside in this goddam heat, then I went to a neighbors party. I had my first full (mixed?) alcoholic drink. I don't even care about my health anymore and I hate feeling like this. The distractions barely did anything.

Just a few more days and I think I'll know for sure whether I should give up with her.
I had so many plans for this summer.. I was so happy and I had the motivation to do anything. Now it's impossible to go a full day without crying like a baby.

Sorry for being such a downer, southperry. I just needed to write down how I feel. I tried a diary but that didn't really help