A young boy, no older than 10, stood in his bathroom, staring into the bathroom sink. He was finishing brushing his teeth, when after rinsing out his mouth, he stopped and stared into the mirror. He saw himself, his hair a bit of a mess, but he thought there was something else in his reflection.
A little while passed, and his father walked past the bathroom and saw his son playing with his face while staring into the mirror. He was standing on his tip-toes, leaning against the sink.
“Hey kid,” he said, “what’cha doing?”
His son looked over at him, and said innocently “daddy, why do I look like this in the mirror?”
The father was surprised to hear something like that coming from his son. He was more surprised to hear a 10 year old asking him that question. “What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well dad, I mean my face. It looks funny.”
The father walked into the bathroom and stood behind his son, his reflection now behind his child’s. He looked down and saw the boy twisting and contorting his expressions, many of them frowns.
“Why are you frowning so much?”
“Dad, does no one like me at school because of my face?” The father was shocked to hear his son say that. It was true that he wasn’t very popular, and that his grades weren’t as good as they could have been, but he was never aware his son was thinking something like this.
“What makes you think that son? You’ve got a handsome face.”
“But dad,” he said, whining, “why doesn’t anyone talk to me in class? Everyone just picks on me and makes fun of me at school. No one even talks to me during lunch, or plays with me during recess. Why doesn’t anyone like me?”
The father looked into the mirror, and looked into his own reflection now. He leaned over and looked closer, and rubbed the stubble on his chin. He knew that his son was feeling down, but he didn’t know what to say to cheer him up.
“Have you talked to mommy about this?”
“Dad, you know she won’t understand!” The boy then turned and looked up at his father directly. “What should I do dad? I don’t like being ignored at school, I wanna have friends!”
The father walked over and sat down on the side of the bath. He reached over and sat his son down on his leg. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, then said to him “well, why do you want to make friends, are you lonely in school?”
“Yeah, a little.”
“Well, have you ever wondered why no one talks to you, or plays with you, or eats their lunch with you?”
“Yeah, they just hate me! No one there likes me at all! I wish I could just go to another school!” The boy was yelling, and he started to cry.
“But son,” he said in a soft tone to his son, calming him down, “that wouldn’t solve anything.”
“What do you mean?” his son asked between sniffles.
“Well,” he started, “people are weird. They won’t like you unless you like yourself.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you need to have confidence if you want to make friends.”
The boy was puzzled. He didn’t know what that word meant. “Dad, what’s condifence?”
“No kiddo, confidence. It’s being strong about who you are, and not letting anyone’s opinion of you get to you. It’s being strong with who you are and accepting yourself.”
“Dad,” the boy said sheepishly, “how can I get ‘confidence’?”
The man looked into his son’s face, and gave him a reassuring smile. “I can’t tell you son, confidence is something every man has to find for themselves.”
His son looked disappointed. “But dad, I want condifence, I want to have it! I don’t like being alone!” He started to cry again.
The father wasn’t sure, but he thought he knew what to do. “Tell ya what kiddo, how about you go finish getting ready for the day, and I’ll tell ya on the way to the park, okay?”
The boy’s face lit up, and suddenly the tears flowing from his eyes stopped. A smile streaked across his face, and he let out a lout “OK!”
As the son ran out of the bathroom to finish getting ready, the man stood up and looked into the mirror. He knew how his son was feeling, he had felt the same way when he was a kid. He knew what to do, but he wasn’t sure how. His father never told him what he had to do to be a man, and now his own son was confused and scared. He knew he had to be confident, but not just for himself, but for his son.
The man brushed his teeth, combed his hair, and shaved the stubble from his chin. Then, after he was done, he took his son to the park, and would tell him all the things he had learned growing up. All the things his father never taught him, about responsibility, courage, honesty, and confidence. He knew his son wouldn’t understand him at first, but he knew that he had to try, so his son wouldn’t struggle as he did.