buccal herpes.

[李船長]

So this guy I'm going to start seeing when i get back to China has buccal herpes. He told me he likes to kiss a lot. I don't have herpes, or at least I've never gotten any of the symptoms. I'm kind of being paranoid but, how do you know when it's safe to kiss and when it's not? I haven't found a clear answer to this so I'm bothering you all with my little dilemma.

[CrazyForDex]

Hope this helps:

http://www.health.ny.gov/diseases/co...std/herpes.htm

Edit:

Found a FAQ!
http://www.hopkinsbayview.org/infect...ti/herpes.html

[Sardines]

Isn't he taking acyclovir. You want to swap fluids with someone who has a virus? :|

[Kurtle]

You aren't really going to be able to tell when he is having a flare up or not so all kissing or anything of the sort puts you at high risk of transmittance.

[Moonlapse]

If he is showing signs, it is for sure not safe. Herpes lesions contain active virus particles. I don't know about when the infection is in its latent phase, however. I would consult a doctor about that.


EDIT: Ninja'd by Kurtle :(

[李船長]

Well I spoke to him about it and he felt insulted and thought I was implying he was diseased. Then I asked this other guy I used to see if he had it and he told me he did but I never caught it. I guess(I honestly shouldn't be guessing) during the latent stage it's not contagious. If I kiss him and then he gets a lesion two days later ( I read in the first articles that it's present up to 2 days before you see visible symptoms) then I'm pineappleed I suppose. I talked to my mother about it and she told me that she got cold sores once in her life (I remember that time). My brother gets it four times a year. My mom told me it's not the end of the world if I get it. But I still want to be careful. I don't know how to like say "can i thoroughly inspect your lips with a microscope to make sure its safe to kiss you". The guy I'm going to see (if he still decides to come see me) told me he used to get cold sores when kissing his ex boyfriend that smoked.

Also getting tested for HIV with this guy because he has had unprotected intercourse before. I want to make sure with pomegranate. I don't want to take risks with my life anymore.

[Sardines]

Good for you. It's great to see someone who realizes that one night of intercourse isn't worth a life time of dealing with HIV/AIDS. And to also put in the actual leg work to protect their own health and assess the health of their partners.

[DeanNim]

you must really love him. i wouldnt risk being in a relationship with such a person at all to be honest :/

[FrozNlite]

Unlike what DeanNim said, I would risk being in a relationship with someone in his situation if I absolutely thought they were the one. Obviously that's a huge reach, but you need to consider what HSV actually is.

OP, I don't know why everyone you've spoken to, doctors included, make it sound like they only got cold sores when with certain people. In virology, herpes is jokingly referred to as the "friend for life," because once you contract it, it's in your body for life (well, until a cure is found, if you're still alive by that time). Though this is a huge deal for Herpes Simplex Virus - 2 (HSV-2), the strain most known because it's the STI, Herpes Simplex Virus -1 (HSV-1) is mostly oral, and is therefore harmless, outside of being uncomfortable, unsightly, and infective during flare ups. After all, what do you think is the result of a relatively harmless oral virus that's with you for life? Fun fact: roughly 70-80% of the world is infected with HSV-1 (why do you think cold sores are so common?). So quit freaking out.

That being said, if you KNOW you are uninfected, and KNOW they're infected, and you aren't 5 years along in the relationship about to propose, it's definitely worth considering. You should also consider testing whether his oral cold sores are indeed HSV-1, because HSV-2 can present orally (if, for example, oral sex was performed on someone expressing genital lesions at the time), and you definitely don't want that.

tl;dr No one wants HSV but there's a huge distinction between HSV-1 and 2 and in all honesty it comes down to relationship dynamics if the only concern is HSV-1.