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  1. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Congratulations, indeed! =)

  2. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    I know @Katie has a family, but I'm not so sure she is an active member anymore.

  3. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    @JoshKun and I have a dog...if that counts.

  4. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Ok well question number 1.

    Breastfeeding vs Formula? I know that BF obviously saves money, but I've read mixed answers on which is really better than the other.

    Also did any of you "Go green" when it came to diapers? As in use reusable ones, or are regular diapers the way to go.


    And this whole "Ferber Method" thing...like, letting your baby cry itself to sleep. Is that something anyone did. I know how I am, and I'm going to have a tough time doing that. I'm not saying I'll rush to his/her aid at every cry, and I will make sure to have a very structered sleeping schedule and plan, but what are your guy's takes on that?


    Thanks a lot! Im sure more questions are to come lol.

  5. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Breastfeeding is better than formula. Quite a lot of reasons for it. For starters, breast milk is literally made to feed the baby so it has antibodies to lower the occurrence for several diseases. It typically increases bonding between the mother and the baby and is the easiest food for the child to digest. Not to mention formula costs money while breast feeding is free. Breastfed babies also typically tend to have a higher IQ and are have a lower chance of being obese.

    Regular diapers seem better and probably save more trouble than having to rewash it often, though I don't know in that regard.

    Haven't been a parent to try the "Ferber Method" though I did learn about it in Psychology but if it isn't something you wouldn't do, then don't do it.

  6. Interdimensional Rift Straight Male
    IGN: thewatch3r
    Server: Khaini
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    usa

    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    What are you thinking? Susan Coffey only.

    OT: Congrats!

  7. Orbital Bee Cannon
    IGN: SaptaZapta
    Server: Kradia
    Level: 275
    Job: Hero
    Guild: Matriarchy
    Alliance: Peaceful

    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    1. Breastfeeding.
    I'm really curious where you read that formula is better, and what reasons were given, because it's been decades since anyone thought that. Even formula makers compete with each other which one imitates breastmilk better. The only argument is how much of a big deal it is if you fail to (exclusively) breastfeed. My advice: give it a try. Even if all your baby gets is the colostrum from the first day, that's a big boost to its immune system. Also, if your wife wants to breastfeed, do not sabotage her by offering to give the baby a bottle "just this once so you can sleep". Milk production is a supply-by-demand feedback system, and if baby gets formula, mom's body doesn't know his real demand and doesn't produce enough the next day. It's a very vicious cycle.

    2. I never went with reusable diapers, but I read they're not nearly as inconvenient as the cloth diapers of old. Sorry I can't help much with that.

    3. Ferber... Well, remember where I posted about being able to find books to support whatever you want to do? That's a classic case. The people who support crying-it-out say it gives baby self-confidence to know that it can get to sleep on its own. The opponents say it just gives baby the feeling nobody cares about it.
    If Ferber doesn't appeal to you, try reading Sears & Sears' "The Baby Book". I think that's still the bible of "attachment parenting". See if that's more your style.
    Also read "What to Expect the First Year", that gives a pretty good view of "mainstream" parenting.
    For myself, I did whatever felt right to me, and only used the books to get my mother off my back when she questioned why I did certain things.
    Both my babies slept through the night (like 8-10 hours) straight off the bat (and I didn't know some say to wake up baby to eat if they sleep that long... fortunately, they were both big babies and didn't suffer for it), but both stopped doing it once I returned to work at 3-4 months. They didn't see me much during the day so they made up for it at night. I couldn't deny them that. I breastfed and they slept near me (not in my bed because I can't sleep with a kicking baby), so I didn't have to actually get up to feed them. They eventually re-learned to sleep through, without having to cry it out.

    Hope that helps, and keep 'em coming.

  8. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Breast feeding is definetly best, but you probably want to have formula ready too because your wife isn't a tap and you can just turn on.

    There are services that "loan" reusable diapers. What you do is...they give you a bunch and you put a bunch of used ones in a bag and they pick it up and at the same time drop of clean ones. The reusable ones are less absorbent, but some babies are allergic to the material in the disposable diapers. Not quite sure on the cost between the two either.

    Letting the baby cry is a bad idea I think, but people do argue the opposite as well. In my view, crying is the baby's way of communicating discomfort, often it is because the baby's hungry/burps/soiled diaper/rash, etc. So ignoring seems like a bad idea.

  9. Orbital Bee Cannon
    IGN: SaptaZapta
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    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Not sure what you mean by "your wife isn't a tap", but as I wrote above, giving a breastfed baby formula is a good way to make sure you'll have to keep giving it formula.
    It might be a good idea to line up a good lactation consultant and maybe go to a class or read up on breastfeeding before the baby is born, just as you'd want to find a good pediatrician. Pretty much all breastfeeding problems result from ignorance. It's not rocket science, but it's also not something one is likely to do right on pure instinct.

    The "Ferber Method" doesn't mean ignoring all of the baby's crying. It's only about getting to sleep. When you know there is nothing physically wrong, baby is just tired and lonely.

  10. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    I mean his wife might not have milk when the baby is hungry, the milk doesn't come on demand/there might not be enough. So sometimes you have to use formula.

  11. Orbital Bee Cannon
    IGN: SaptaZapta
    Server: Kradia
    Level: 275
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    Guild: Matriarchy
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    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    The milk does come on demand. Rather, in the first few months, it is produced continuously. The baby's suckling is what determines the rate of production. If there "isn't enough" (meaning it's not produced fast enough for hungry baby's liking), the cure is not to give formula. It's to keep the baby suckling until there's more.
    You only have to give formula if the baby is showing signs of dehydration - and that should not happen when it is latching on correctly and Mom is not starved or severely dehydrated herself. The cases of true organic flaws that make a woman unable to produce enough milk for her baby (or twins, for that matter), are very few. Ignorance is a far more common cause of "not enough milk".

    Edit: Before I get tagged as a breastfeeding fanatic (too late?), let me say this: If you choose to formula-feed your baby, that's ok. As long as you don't do anything stupid like over-dilute the formula in an attempt to save money, your baby should grow up just fine.
    However, breastfeeding is better. And if you choose to do that, you should get informed about it so you are not forced to quit earlier than intended.

  12. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    alternatively, his wife could use a breast pump to pump extra milk out of her boobies when the baby isn't hungry and then they can have it on hand. Same thing as bottle feeding, but with breastmilk instead of formula.

  13. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Worthyness brings up my next question for Sapta..

    Pumping.. Any benefits to pumping vs actual breastfeeding? Im trying to think of a couple different things here. I heard BFing can be painful? I don't want her to be in pain, but I do understand that it is a part of raising a baby. But pumping does kind of seem more convenient? Pump the milk, and bottle and it's ready to roll? But I'm guessing you'll need to do a LOT of pumping each day? Which can probably get really tiresome.

    Did you ever pump?? Or just straight up, mouth on boob.

  14. ᗧ · · · ᗣ · · · ᗣ ᗣ Straight Male
    IGN: Helsinki
    Server: MYBCKN
    Level: 220
    Job: Aran
    Guild: Friends
    Alliance: Unbreakable
    finland

    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Are you serious? I didn't know my mom plays MS

  15. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    I don't see why that's a problem.
    My old guild leader used to play with her kids. There's nothing wrong with playing games, even into old age, just as long as it doesn't interfere with your responsibilities.

  16. ᗧ · · · ᗣ · · · ᗣ ᗣ Straight Male
    IGN: Helsinki
    Server: MYBCKN
    Level: 220
    Job: Aran
    Guild: Friends
    Alliance: Unbreakable
    finland

    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Never said it is. 4X years old woman playing MS just seems like an impossible equation. My mom of that age can barely change channel on our TV...

  17. Orbital Bee Cannon
    IGN: SaptaZapta
    Server: Kradia
    Level: 275
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    Guild: Matriarchy
    Alliance: Peaceful

    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    I did pump milk for my babies, since I had to go back to work when they were 3-4 months old, and I wanted them to have my milk at daycare. I was a member of a mailing list for pumping mothers for a long time, and not a single woman there would recommend exclusively pumping unless there is no choice.

    Pumping is far less convenient than nursing. Washing and sterilizing bottles and pump parts, managing the milk so it does not spoil (so sometimes refrigerating, sometimes freezing, sometimes thawing), warming it up, carrying filled bottles when you go out, and so on. Pumps are less efficient than babies, which means that to keep up one's milk supply one needs to pump often and long. It's so much easier to just lift one's shirt and latch the baby on. It also feels so much nicer to be hugging your baby instead of communing with a noisy machine. (This is also where the bonding comes in, through the nursing hormones).

    It is true that breastfeeding can hurt at first. It's worse if the baby latches on not quite right, which is where the lactation consultant comes in. But even if everything is done right, sensitive nipples can get chafed. There are creams one can use, that are safe for baby (so don't need to be washed off). The pain doesn't last long, and is totally worth it for the convenience afterwards.

    However, it's worth having a pump even if your wife does not intend to work or go to school while the baby is young. It is not recommended to give bottles (of either breastmilk or formula) in the first few weeks, due to the possibility of nipple confusion (getting milk out of a bottle and out of a woman require entirely different techniques). However, after everything is going smoothly, you two might want to go out and leave the baby with grandma for a few hours. Or if wife is too tired for that, you might want to let her sleep a full night while you feed the baby. Or there can be other situations when you might want to have some expressed breastmilk on hand. It can be kept in a regular freezer for 3 months, and deep freeze for 6.

    I hope that answers your question. If not, ask again / more

  18. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Also sometimes you would want to pump to provide relief incase she makes too much....also feeding bras.

  19. Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Ok, so definitely have a pump just in case, is basically what we've come up with.

    Sapta, just wondering..in your personal experience, how expensive is having a baby? I know the question is a bit tough, and I don't know your financial situation...Her and I make quite a bit of money, but we are trying to get a handle on how expensive this will be. We are in Canada though, (for now) so free healthcare. But I'm mainly worrying about the babies younger years...are doctor appointments really frequent? I feel like I'm the kind of Dad that is going to be rushing my kid to the doctors everytime he coughs 3 times in two minutes lol.

  20. Orbital Bee Cannon
    IGN: SaptaZapta
    Server: Kradia
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    Default Re: Any parents on Southperry? Guessing .. no


    Doctor visits vary a lot. My babies were hardly ever sick, but my nephew would catch every bug "going around" and some that weren't.
    If you have free healthcare it's not that much of a financial burden, but of course taking time off from work is not always easy. Also, sitting in the doctor's office surrounded by sick babies is not very healthy. Better to call first.

    As for other things... you can probably look up "cost of raising a child" on the 'net, and get lots of different results. I mean, right off the bat, you can have the baby sleeping in an Ikea crib in your room, or you can have his room custom-furnished by a master carpenter, or anything in between. At the other end of childhood, you can let him pay his own college tuition, or you can pay for him to go to the most prestigious university that will take him. And so goes everything in between. Food, clothes, toys, school and extracurricular activities, everything has a whole range of options.
    Sorry I can't really help with this one.

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