The Five Love Languages

[Razmos]

That was my main gripe with this, every second question was "I like to recieve gifts from ---", "receiving gifts from --- makes me feel special" "I feel loved when i receive gifts"
Seriously?

Anyway.
6 Words of Affirmation
9 Quality Time
3 Receiving Gifts
7 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch

Don't really know what to think about that. I don't think it fits me though.

[Shidoshi]

4 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
2 Receiving Gifts
3 Acts of Service
11 Physical Touch

I share Sarah's opinion on this test. It's way too predictable and the pairings for the questions seemed completely random.
Yes I like touching and spending good times. Even something as simple as hugging or holding hands feels really special for me.

[SaptaZapta]

yea, i really feel anyone who gets the gifting one is a materialistic -

Yeah, I have a problem with putting that one on equal footing with the other "languages".
I mean, I can accept that there are people who mostly show affection by touch, and others by words, and others by "service" (they really need a better word), and others just by their presence and focused attention ("time"). But are there really a significant number of people who show their love by frequent little gifts (that aren't a cup of coffee to bed, since that's a "service", nor a note on the fridge, since that's a "word of affirmation")? I mean, other than doting grandparents? And there are people who actually respond to that kind of thing?

Don't get me wrong, I do like gifts, and I treasure a few special ones from special people. But I feel that if I had a partner who was constantly showering me with material things (instead of the other four "languages") I would not enjoy it. Those things wouldn't have any sentiment in them.


Back on topic: I think the basic idea of classifying expressions of affection into five basic groups, and paying attention to which kinds you and your spouse/friends/children tend to use more and to respond to more, is interesting and could be useful. However, the assessments are very poorly done, in my opinion.

For couples, right now, the questionnaire assumes your spouse is fluent in all 5 languages, and you just have to pick and choose which of his/her expressions of love you enjoy the most.
That's not how it is in the real world, is it?
There should have been some form of couples assessment, which attempts to simultaneously find out which languages each of you "speaks" and which each of you "hears". Maybe she'd like it if you flatter her less and wash the dishes more?

For children and teens, too many questions have hidden assumptions. Some things that are described as possible "expressions of love" are matter-of-fact (e.g. "drives me where I need to go") or even house rules (e.g., "at least one meal a day together" - which the child might actually resent) in certain families. Some people don't spontaneously hug or kiss their children because they respect their personal space, not because they or their kids aren't naturally physically affectionate. And so on.
There is also no reverse assessment, for parents to know how their children love them... probably extra necessary when the kids come up as liking "gifts" from parents most of all.

And the one for singles... I'm not really sure what to make of that one. Are you supposed to assume what you like from friends is what you'd like from a spouse, if/when you have one? Because I got fairly different results as a "single" and as a "wife". My language is not supposed to change, is it? Should be part of my personality, I would think.

Anyway,
tl;dr: the concept is cool, the quizzes suck

[Mazz]

"I like it when people listen to me and show genuine interest in what I am saying."

What? Who doesn't like this?

Spoiler

and "I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone does some act of service for me." head is in the gutter.

Granted, I misread of as or.

6 Words of Affirmation
11 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
6 Acts of Service
7 Physical Touch

[Alley]

Quality Time


7 Words of Affirmation
12 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
5 Acts of Service
6 Physical Touch

That was kind of a dumb quiz, they only give you two options the whole time..

[MasPan]

Sorry, but I had to lol at all the questions that were like, "I LOVE MY HUSBAND WHEN HE BUYS ME SHIT!"

11 Physical Touch
7 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
3 Acts of Service
2 Receiving Gifts

No surprise here. I touch my husband so much he gets annoyed by it.

Funny as hell given your sig.

[ChaoticCJ]

Quality Time

4 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
7 Acts of Service
9 Physical Touch

The test was very predictable. It was either "Give me gifts" or "I need gifts." I don't like gifts at all. To me it's just more stuff that I probably won't use. I would rather us use that time and money that was spent on the gift and go out and do something together.

[Onion Knight]

5 Words of Affirmation
8 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts
11 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch

Now where're my "acts of service", peach.

Wish there was a "neither of these" option, "other" option or more options per page (given there's 5 criteria) for every single page. A lot of the options I had to pick only vaguely represented me or didn't represent me at all. lolquiz

[MrTouchnGo]

7 Words of Affirmation
12 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts
5 Acts of Service
5 Physical Touch

[Fiel]

This is kind of bullpomegranate. All of the questions in the singles one are variations of being touched or getting gifts.

edit: finished it. That was retarded and not even close to being a meaningful way of getting how someone really feels.

Sorry froz, but this is dumb. Two answers per grouping and they are both totally biased and never actually related to... anything. Just forced to choose one or the other.

Totally agree. This quiz made me feel like a gold digger halfway through.

[Zenkat]

Meh.

4 Words of Affirmation
11 Quality Time
1 Receiving Gifts
5 Acts of Service
9 Physical Touch

[FrozNlite]

Sorry froz, but this is dumb. Two answers per grouping and they are both totally biased and never actually related to... anything. Just forced to choose one or the other.

No worries! As much as I enjoy the concept and feel the quizzes work well with me, I totally understand their limitations after reading the comments here and getting a more diverse perspective. You're all not the first people to dislike them too, by the way - I had an old manager/friend take it, who liked it, but also felt limited with many of the questions.

It's a hard concept to quiz on, though. I mean, how else to discover your rank of all five languages? For example, if given five objective choices per question, one each pertaining to a language, might people only end up with one language? At the very least the numbers would be more heavily skewed towards one or two, which, while that being the focus of the exercise, I feel would be the opposite end of this in terms of appropriate results.

[DeanNim]

No worries! As much as I enjoy the concept and feel the quizzes work well with me, I totally understand their limitations after reading the comments here and getting a more diverse perspective. You're all not the first people to dislike them too, by the way - I had an old manager/friend take it, who liked it, but also felt limited with many of the questions.

It's a hard concept to quiz on, though. I mean, how else to discover your rank of all five languages? For example, if given five objective choices per question, one each pertaining to a language, might people only end up with one language? At the very least the numbers would be more heavily skewed towards one or two, which, while that being the focus of the exercise, I feel would be the opposite end of this in terms of appropriate results.

one of the paid tests i took at school had like 5 options in one question. tha would explain the accuracy i got back then.

[SaptaZapta]

No worries! As much as I enjoy the concept and feel the quizzes work well with me, I totally understand their limitations after reading the comments here and getting a more diverse perspective. You're all not the first people to dislike them too, by the way - I had an old manager/friend take it, who liked it, but also felt limited with many of the questions.

It's a hard concept to quiz on, though. I mean, how else to discover your rank of all five languages? For example, if given five objective choices per question, one each pertaining to a language, might people only end up with one language? At the very least the numbers would be more heavily skewed towards one or two, which, while that being the focus of the exercise, I feel would be the opposite end of this in terms of appropriate results.

On that selfsame site, they have "the languages of apology", whose assessment questions have five answers.

Another way to do it is to rate various actions of one's spouse on a scale, instead of against one another.
e.g.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 = I hate it, 10 = I love it), how would you rate your spouse's behavior in these situations:
1. Washes my car
2. Takes a phone call while we're having dinner
3. Kisses me on the way out the door
4. Tells me I look good
5. Creates handmade gifts for me
etc... (notice that it could be good or bad things)

Also, almost none of us got 0 in any language. That means that even the one we least respond to, triumphed over something else at least once. People are complicated, and almost everyone responds to all five languages to one extent or another.

[Shidoshi]

It's a hard concept to quiz on, though. I mean, how else to discover your rank of all five languages? For example, if given five objective choices per question, one each pertaining to a language, might people only end up with one language? At the very least the numbers would be more heavily skewed towards one or two, which, while that being the focus of the exercise, I feel would be the opposite end of this in terms of appropriate results.

The quiz failed to put you in context or derive on the implication of each language. It didn't really offer a believable situation where you could place yourself and think what would you please you most. It simply paired 2 of the 5 languages at a time, making it extremely obvious what the end result would be, specially since things like "I like receiving gifts" were never presented in a creative way.

[Eos]

This is kind of bullpomegranate. All of the questions in the singles one are variations of being touched or getting gifts.

edit: finished it. That was retarded and not even close to being a meaningful way of getting how someone really feels.

7 affirmation
10 quality
0 gifts
5 acts of service
8 physical touch


Sorry froz, but this is dumb. Two answers per grouping and they are both totally biased and never actually related to... anything. Just forced to choose one or the other.

100% agree with Sarah. It was absolute crap and the majority of what it asked me I didn't want either of. It was repetitive beyond mind numbing. And in a borderline creepy coincidence my results came nearly identical to Sarah;

5 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
8 Acts of Service
7 Physical Touch

It's a hard concept to quiz on, though. I mean, how else to discover your rank of all five languages? For example, if given five objective choices per question, one each pertaining to a language, might people only end up with one language? At the very least the numbers would be more heavily skewed towards one or two, which, while that being the focus of the exercise, I feel would be the opposite end of this in terms of appropriate results.

Easy, you give a scenario, and five options to rank on how you'd prefer it to go.

Ie:
You've just had a fight and your partner makes up by;

Hugging
Apologizing
Doing something for you
Giving you a gift
Taking you out somewhere nice.

[hadriel]

@Dean: that was probably MBTI.

Hadriel

[FrozNlite]

Love the ideas of ranking/rating five options on a scale. I definitely agree, Sapta and Eos, that either of those ideas would work much better.

In the end I feel the important aspect is the concept itself, like Sapta said on the first page. Cool concept, pomegranate quizzes, combined with the fact that most people here are pretty intelligent and know themselves well, means by just familiarizing oneself with the languages you can get a pretty good idea of where you stand. A lot of times I've actually introduced the languages in this way, because most of the time I'm not by a computer with the person to have them hop on and take the quiz, and thus just by talking about the five they get a pretty good idea which ones they are.

Hopefully the categorization of the five was at least stimulating and engaging for some!

[Abbeh]

Sure, why not.


As a wife:
3 Words of Affirmation
10 Quality Time
2 Receiving Gifts
5 Acts of Service
10 Physical Touch

As a single:
3 Words of Affirmation
12 Quality Time
0 Receiving Gifts
7 Acts of Service
8 Physical Touch

I'm a needy peach. This quiz was awful.

I feel like the 'single' version of the quiz was a little more... accurate? I had multiple questions on the 'wife' version where neither option applied, but the single one had a little more wiggle room.

[Sarah]

I don't even think it's that good of an idea. I don't see why it matters.