Okay, so over this past weekend I went to see The Grey, and I have to admit that, despite enjoying it, I still feel it was a waste of money to have seen it. I'd recommend anyone with any plans to see it to change their plans.
my summary of the movieSo it starts off with Liam Neelson's character in some cold-as-fxck place out in the middle of arctic nowhere, and he's pretty desolate. It's revealed that he works for an oil company by killing any animals that may try to kill other workers. He's a wolf exterminator. Keep this in mind for later.
So, back to the bar. He goes in, drinks a few, goes outside, and tries to kill himself with his rifle. He hears a noise and changes his mind.
SUDDENLY PLOT ITEM OF CONVENIENCE!! Liam and a bunch of the other workers start to board a plane, which I guess was supposed to be taking them back home? Never was it stated, to the best of my memory, where the plane was actually going.
Anyway, the plane's electronics go haywire, and liam looks out the window to see the wing on his side of the plane flapping up and down. It's being held on by wires. Sh'its going down.
Oh, and he dreams of his wife/girlfriend lying next to him a lot. It's never revealed who she actually is. But he sleeps on the plane and dreams of her.
Anyways, plane crashes. Starts falling out of the air, and Liam lies down and straps himself into the three conveniently empty chairs beside him. (earlier on when he first boarded the plane a loudmouth sat next to him, whom liam shooed away.) Plane crashes, and only.. iirc 8 or so survive that can be seen.
Then liam starts taking charge of the situation. COMMENCE KARMIC B'ITCH-SLAP when, during the night, Liam discovers another group of survivors have set up camp a ways away as well, when they aren't really survivors anymore. They're wolf chow. The stewardess is being eaten by wolves is what I'm saying. Liam runs towards them, gets clawed and bitten a lot, when his group of survivors run towards him and save him.
Liam gives them all some tale about wolves being pack creatures, and having a kill radius of [insert math here] for hunting, and a kill radius of [insert math here] i'm-straight-up-killing-you-because-you're-a-threat.
Next day or so, the wolves start scoping them out. Thus begins the slow, 1-by-1 murdering of nearly everyone.
First, a guy gets offed as he's standing watch during the night. He's playing a DS, and gets up to pee. Wolves ambush his ass. Everyone wakes up to see his corpse, then Liam suggests going towards the woods a few miles away. And thus they do, after a few arguments from one dude. while walking, one of the guys who was straggling behind gets killed. 6 left. They make it to the woods, and enter a clearing.
After starting a fire, the Alpha wolf pays them a visit. the guy who had the attitude and argued about going to the woods is the next target when a wolf jumps on him from behind. The wolf is killed, Liam explains that's an Omega, an outcast, and everyone eats the wolf's sorry b'itch ass for dinner. Then attitude guy, who has a tattoo of "NO MAS" on his neck, cuts off the omega's head and throws it back into the woods. This causes every wolf to howl out in sadness.
I liked NO MAS. He was a prick.
while they're camped out in that clearing, the guy whose had a cough falls asleep and dies while asleep. During the night when he dies a blizzard blows through, and everyone digs into the snow and moves his ass to keep him alive, which is useless. Liam tries to wake him up and hits him in the chest. He's dead. Why the fxck didnt he try CPR?
So, 4 left. I realize at this point that I'm still waiting and hoping for the happy ending, where the last three struggle for survival from the wolves and escape narrowly towards freedom, or somehow kill the alpha and get ignored by the pack. How wrong was I.
They come to a ravine, and decide to have one of them jump across to secure a line to the trees on the other side so they can shimmy across. They send the "religious" guy.
OH SH'IT THE LINE SNAPS. OH SH'IT NO MAS JUMPS TO SAVE HIM. OH SH'IT THE RAVINE ON THEIR END BREAKS FROM HIS WEIGHT. OH SH'IT LIAM SAVES NO MAS.
Okay, so they all get across safely, right movie? What's that? No, the guy with the glasses and fear of heights looks down, loses his glasses, and falls to his death, right? No, he loses his glasses after looking down, gets snagged on the tether, it snaps, he falls and slams into a tree, falls down after hitting branches left and right. He lands on the ground and coughs up blood. Cue death vision of his daughter doing something from the story he shared about her, then sudden cut to wolves eating his ass and dragging him away. The last three try to climb down to save him, to no avail.
NO MAS falls and snaps his ankle/knee.
They clear the woods and come to a stream. NO MAS says "fxck you guys, i'm done, leave me to die," and THEY LEAVE HIM TO DIE?! WHAT HAPPENED TO NO ONE LEFT BEHIND? HOLY SH'IT DUDE, JUST DRAG HIS USELESS ASS. Sh'it, even the religious guy recommends jury-rigging a stretcher to carry him. But no, Liam leaves him to die. which is assumed he does. there's a long shot of him lying against a log by the stream, the sound of wolven footsteps in the snow, and he says "i'm not afraid."
obviously religious dude is gonna slip into the stream and get carried away for some reason, right movie? Yes? After being chased by wolves he slips and gets carried away? Fxck yeah I was right. Liam jumps in after him, but religious dude gets his foot snagged inbetween two rocks and drowns, literally inches from the surface. he's the ONLY ONE IN THE MOVIE OF THE CRASH SURVIVORS WHO, along with hypothermia dude, DOESNT DIE FROM A WOLF-BASED DEATH.
Then liam waltzes into their lair. Oh wait a second. Before that it's sorta explained who that chick of his is. It's the two of them lying in the same bed, she says her ONLY LINES IN THE MOVIE ("Don't be afraid,") and it pans to show an IV dripping away... so she was sick? Okay. By this time he's still in a frozen no-man's land, but he's stripped himself of his soaked jacket and gloves... okay...
so, he enters their lair, but he doesnt know that yet that it's their lair. He stops to pile up all the wallets of the dead into a cross shape, then sees that he's in the wolves lair. he then places his in the center. conceited prick. then, HERE'S THE ADVERT FROM TV FOR THE MOVIE!! EPIC FIGHT TO THE DEATH!!!! He tapes small alcohol bottles to one hand, and a trench knife to the other. Breaks the bottles against a rock, and prepares to fight with the wolf. GONNA GO DOWN IN A BLAZE OF GLO--
cut to black? roll credits?
there goes my adrena-boner.
fxck you movie.
In summary, it's a movie to watch if you want to see a group of societies rejects die one by one, up to and including possibly the main character.
If you really want to see it, don't spend your money to. Wait til it's rentable then judge for yourself.