Printable View
Alright opinionated Southperrians, what would be the "traditional" way to select wedding rings for a same sex couple?
My partner and I are of differing opinions; take the survey to share yours and answer this all important question!
https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/9Y9RJP3
first off, congratulations
second off, it should be something that you both agree means something to you, if you have different opinions on what it should mean, nothing the internet says is going to change that, talk to your partner about it, we aren't going to magically solve this issue
It doesn't matter that you're a same sex couple, the rings are a symbol of the bond between you.
Congrats!
Either is certainly valid, though I personally lean towards similar rings.
We already reached an agreement, but we put up the vote together to all our friends and contacts to see which way the wind is blowing. That's why the question is what would you consider "traditional".Quote:
Originally Posted by MuscleWizard
Forget the entire concept of traditional, haha. Do something you both enjoy. Otherwise you're not creating something that's purely meaningful based on what your hearts are saying, but rather letting it be affected by the opinions of the masses.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eos
We've already reached our personal answer, you're trying to resolve a non-existent scenario.Quote:
Originally Posted by MuscleWizard
This is the speakeasy, this is an inference test. Heterosexual marriages have had thousands of years to come up with their traditions that define a baseline. Same sex marriages are newer and don't fit into that model of a specific type of ring for him and a specific type of ring for her. Therefore we're curious what the instincts of the average person who's absorbed years of tradition translates that to in this circumstance.
Congratulations!
Sorry, I can't answer the survey because I don't know what the traditions of same-sex weddings are. I didn't even know they've existed long enough to develop traditions.
If you're asking our opinion of the "right" thing to do, rather than the "traditional" way: personally I'd try to find a pair of identical rings that speak to us both. But I can see situations where that would be very difficult or downright impossible (e.g., one partner is very feminine and the other very masculine; or both feel very strongly about wearing rings that have been passed down for generations in their respective families), so I don't see it as an absolute requirement.
I don't think I entirely see the difference between your marriage and anyone else's though!Quote:
Originally Posted by Eos
Marriage is at its core an affirmation of love between two parties, and a promise that they'll be faithful to each other until the very end.
Tradition is just for decor, the heart of the ceremony will always be something that you decide.
My answer to the question you posited is what I just said, and I was raised roman catholic, and then told by my priest to never come back when he found out that I liked the D.
The rings are a symbol, tradition shouldn't matter because they're supposed to be about the couple.
People always buy something that they like, something that feels right for them, you're over-thinking it.
I chose the option to pick differing rings.
My reasoning is:
-Heterosexual couples don't choose the same rings.
-Differing rings appeals more to my individuality while maintaining the significance and meaning of the occasion (marriage).
-Having the same ring seems more fitting if it was a platonic, "best friends" type of relationship.
But the "meaning" or the "speaks to you" part of marriage/wedding is deeply ingrained in tradition.Quote:
Originally Posted by MuscleWizard
Why do we assign such importance to the ceremony, the white dress, the tuxedo, the rings, and all the other traditions of weddings? Precisely because they are tradition.
Some people don't care, and don't bother with a ceremony at all. "Common Law" marriage is good enough for them. (In Hebrew we call that state "Publicly known" - meaning "everybody knows (that these two are together)")
Some people care but rebel, having a ceremony that is explicitely non-traditional - but still, what makes their ceremony meaningful to them is precisely its rebellion against tradition. If there had been no tradition of e.g. tuxedo, then marrying in a tracksuit wouldn't be a statement.
And most people follow tradition because it has been ingrained into them that that is the best way to express that eternal commitment and love.
We could also tie this in to the discussion of why gays want to get married at all, if a "domestic partnership" gives the same legal rights and obligations. The answer, generally, is "because our feeling are the same as hetero couples', and we want to express them publicly in the same way." In other words, they want to follow the tradition as closely as possible.
To get back to the issue of rings.
Traditionally, up until the 20th century, only women wore wedding rings, so the question of identical or matching rings never came up.
Inasmuch as I have "absorbed years of tradition", as Eos puts it, I always kind of assumed that wedding rings tend to be wedding bands, plain enough to be worn by both men and women (with allowance for size).
That's the sort of introspective nature of the beast stuff I am looking for and trying to quantify.Quote:
Originally Posted by SaptaZapta
How does tradition extend to account for paradigm change :f2: