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How do -you- turn someone down?
I'm not sure how many people here have had experience with such a situation, but even if you haven't, what do you think you would do? Share your experience, thoughts and stories, from either yourself or someone else. I'd love to hear them.
Declining an invitation to go somewhere? Rejecting someone who just asked you out? Declining an offering of a cigarette when you're trying to quit? You can turn someone down in a number of different scenarios.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas
A simple "no thanks", "I don't think I can do that" or other similar phrase possibly catered to the scenario would be sufficient in all three I would have thought, just might require guts though. Not speaking from experience.
yuea, i need to know what kind of "turning down" we're talking about here before i give my opinion
(with my brothers though, i usually trap them in their bedsheets, and then flip them down.)
It's hard, but I always believe that you should be honest with something like that. Unless, of course, after the first time you meet them they write you a poem about how you're their guardian angel who changed their life. Then I just kinda do the awful thing and avoid contact completely. (I don't take my own advice well)
In my defense, his smell made me sick after a while.
BUT ANYWAYS, everyone deserves honesty, especially when it comes to turning them down. Unless you're a bad person (me).
I tend to do the horrible thing too and ignore them, or humor them for a while. It makes me a massive hypocrite because i hate it when people do that to me, but what can i do? we all react to these things in different ways and i just don't have the heart to say i don't like them in that way. I'm so nice i'm horrible. How weird.
^@Above I do kind of the same thing. I HATE it when people do that to me (Only happened once).
I lead the girl on for a couple weeks and I tell her i'm not interested. I ignore them afterwards because it gets a little awkward.
This girl was really mean to me in the beginning of the year and I guess she had a crush on me because her friends come up to me all the time to see if i'm interested.
This other girl a couple weeks ago was asking me to be her Valentine but I didn't want to because she seems too immature. Besides she's a freshman lol.
Just tell them you're not interested.
Simple, really.
Just say you're not interested. if they insist, counter insist. show assertion. thats all there is to it honestly.
Aaah how silly of me, completely forgot to add a scenario.
:monocle:Quote:
Originally Posted by ShinkuDragon
Most people seem to have gotten the idea though, I did mean turning down in a 'someone-fancies-you-but-you-dont-fancy-them' kind of way.
As for the people saying 'say no, if insisting keep insisting as well', that can be tougher than it sounds.
It's pretty heart breaking to see someone keep having high hopes, and you having to turn that person down time after time.
This gets even worse when you see the person a lot and there is no option of 'ignore texts and pretend to never have
met the other'. Then there is also the complication of actually liking the other person, but in a friendly way. Which makes it suck
even more to see someone getting more and more insecure and sad each time.
Anyway, thanks for all the input so far! Keep em coming :shine:
i figured, but i agree with everyone, you simply reject them, tell them that thanks, but you're not interested, be confident (<-not the word i'm looking for, but you know) about your decision, and enforce it. they're the ones hurting themselves coming after something they know they can't get.Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas
The art of negotiation is very useful in all areas of life. So maybe you don't want to do something. Is there some sort of compromise you can reach with the other person so that you might want to do it? Try that instead.
Give them cheese.
Okay, so from what Ive gathered from most so far, is that after you decline several times, and the person keeps bugging, you shouldn't feel sorry for them anymore? I personally have great problems with this. If anything it makes it more sad that someone isnt willing to see what is happening.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fiel
Im not sure what you're getting at... a compromise at what? might want to do what? All Id want is for the person to move on and find someone else. Then again, I didn't intend this thread to be aimed so much at me, but rather as a general thread for people to share their experiences and thoughts on the subject. Naturally it is best to simply say 'no', but that doesn't always cut it. Surely there has to be more one can do.
Sorry if all this is making me sound like an ass btw >.> I really appreciate all the input so far but am also still hoping on more thoughts/stories from people.
Also..
How about some rocks? F3 get your ass back on maple you :pineapple:Quote:
Originally Posted by Blaine
Be honest, straight forward, and clear. It'll probably hurt, but it's best so they get the point and don't search for hope in ambiguous words. Though, there is a difference between being honest and being hurtful.
that's exactly the point, they keep trying because they think they have a chance, they don't, hurting them once is better than having them hold to that illusion that they may someday achieve it.
sometimes being nice is worse than being direct.
if all else fails:
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
replace the table with said person.
I try to be creative. Though just claiming to have an STD usually works favorably. Sometimes I make up diseases.
My favourite was being asked to perform oral sex on someone at a bar... as an opening line. I agreed and told them to meet me in the washroom. Then I sent in a male friend to pretend to be me.
Rick's favourite is the time I compared someone's chance at getting with me to the drop rate of a Cold Shark card. And while they didn't understand what I meant, they knew it meant no.
edit: oh this isn't an anecdote thread? it's for advice?
If someone is obnoxiously persistent then just tell them to pineapple off.
Why would you turn anyone down?
Ask them to come over and play video games or show them your lv 200 Maple character.