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View Full Version : Rejecting friends...without sounding like ur a jerk



Beloved
2008-08-19, 02:46 PM
How the pineapple do you do that when some *ahem* cannot comprehend a "No, I don't want to hang out with you: not today, not tomorrow, not any other day -- not EVER!"

Seriously. If there was an image I could describe myself in, it would be an image of a kid grabbing onto anything he can with his hands to stay while a stranger's grabbing legs and yanking his legs elsewhere.

This chick, I've known since grade 9 highschool seemed to have followed me from my very first highschool to the final one I graduated in. When I first met her, we both weren't that great on terms. She used to be one of those stranger, random person that you pass by in the halls without a second glance with a twist -- you could easily tell she was a druggie. As I got to know her (unavoidably, she was in all but one class at the time), I found her to be on something 99% of the time I was "with" her. But hey, groupwork aside, I was fine with our relationship. She wasn't a friend, but a random stranger -- I LIKED that.

Two years later, grade 11, I ran into her again. She seemed changed and so starts a brief term of friendship. In this time, I found two things: she may be maturer (if you can call it that), but the things I'd observed in highschool didn't change. That is to say, she was still a druggie -- though less often now, and, she was also still actively doing the 1-guy-a-week routine. Needless to say, some time later, I stopped being in contact with her so often. And I would ASSUME that she knew this too because she ended up hounding me with calls at least 3 times per 2 day period -- not counting the many times she'd call while I was still asleep. I even took to making my mother pick up those calls, and she still didn't get it. Damn, woman. What part of I-don't-want-to-hang-out-with-you do you not understand?

Eventually, she quit hounding me with calls. But during the 2 years time, from graduation to college, it seemed like everywhere I went, with friends, or alone, I'd run into her. Somewhere, somehow. Everytime I run into her, I literally flinch. Why she's so capable of finding me AND so incapable of understanding rejection is completely beyond me -- which is what is scary.

Two minutes ago, while doing some research for an important errand, she randomly calls. Asks how I am, says we haven't hung out for awhile, then demands to do something with me. Almost 4 years later, she still doesn't understand I want to have nothing with her.

Damnit, stupid woman, leave me the pineapple alone! >_____>

Edit: I should add, one more thing that bothers me like you have no idea: She called today to ask to hang out with guys. Urgh. I don't care if she decides a guy is perfect for me: I don't want to be associated with ANYONE she may possibly know.

Edit2: took out some unnecessary profanity. >.> Sorry. I'm irritated.

Edit3: rawr. Guess I did sound like a guy. :x And well...I'm a girl. lol

Silver_ice
2008-08-19, 02:55 PM
screen calls? dont even answer them from her? eventually if she always recieves a message she might get the idea. tell her ur visiting family that day? or something.

Beloved
2008-08-19, 03:17 PM
That's the thing, she DOESN'T get the idea. Did you read my initial post? lol

Corn
2008-08-19, 03:28 PM
Be a man. woman. Tell her, directly, face to face,

"I'm sorry but I don't think this would work out don't think we should hang out."

Or get a different girlfriend.

Sorry -_-.

Blankout
2008-08-19, 03:35 PM
Be a man. Tell her, directly, face to face,

"I'm sorry but I don't think this would work out."

Or get a different girlfriend.

Isn't Beloved a girl? :f6:

Corn
2008-08-19, 03:39 PM
^That changes everything :f6:. Fixed my other post. Sorry.

Beloved
2008-08-19, 03:39 PM
Isn't Beloved a girl? :f6:

I am, yeah. ._.

Raven
2008-08-19, 04:05 PM
Lots of drugged up kids at my highschool, although I'm more often the one blown off than the one being clung onto except in a couple cases.

GoogleSearch
2008-08-19, 04:40 PM
God damnit I hate it when people aren't direct. Just tell her you don't want to hang out with her any more. Seriously, it will put her AND you out of your miseries.

butterfλi
2008-08-20, 07:11 PM
God damnit I hate it when people aren't direct.

Just tell her you don't want to hang out with her any more.

Seriously, it will put her AND you out of your miseries.

I like your first sentence. I like your second sentence less than the first. I like your 3rd sentence the most.

-----

The problem is you're always afraid of hurting people feelings. Consequently, you don't stand up much for yourself so other people just keep using you. Imagine if this chicks starts asking you for money and you can't bring yourself to say no because you're afraid of sounding like a jerk. It's better to be a jerk and not be frustrated by other people than the contrapositve.

GoogleSearch
2008-08-20, 10:11 PM
I like your first sentence. I like your second sentence less than the first. I like your 3rd sentence the most.

-----

The problem is you're always afraid of hurting people feelings. Consequently, you don't stand up much for yourself so other people just keep using you. Imagine if this chicks starts asking you for money and you can't bring yourself to say no because you're afraid of sounding like a jerk. It's better to be a jerk and not be frustrated by other people than the contrapositve.

Maybe I'm weird but that was a really different, intricate way of saying something...

I am not kidding. It will be about a two day thing if you go ahead and tell her--a day of procrastinating/thinking about it and then you do it and then a day to recover. This is much better than the indefinite dread and grueling agony of being woefully unknowledgeable. This is what people talk about when they are 50 and they just end a really poor, 40-year old relationship that has been complete and utter shit for the last 10 years and say that they were upset that they didn't end the relationship earlier because of how full-of-agony it was. Just have the short-term consequences now rather than the tremendous long-term ones.

Wani
2008-08-20, 10:11 PM
Ehh, I know how you feel. x_x I hate looking like a jackass, but I've come to the realisation recently that sometimes, you just need to tell someone no. No matter how hard it might be. Generally, doing the right thing always is difficult to do, but in the long run, you know it's for the best.

SuGaRnSp1C3
2008-08-20, 11:16 PM
I would just tell the hoe bag 'no', plain and simple no. And if she asks why? just tell it to her flat out, you don't want anything to do with her b/c of A, B, C..etc.. Seems to me like she's clinging on to you for dear life or something :f6: seems needy, could be psycho even :f6:. Reminds me of my high school days ..YIKES..I know it hurts and you'll feel bad to hurt someones feelings, but the truth hurts sometimes.

Gabe
2008-08-21, 02:59 AM
that's why i'm "the jerk" to everyone... i flat out tell people "dude, leave me the fuck alone, you're [insert personality trait i hate here]"

i was once called a homophobe because i told a dude (that happened to be gay) "don't try to be friendly with me, you're annoying, you fag" but i wasn't referring to his sexuality, i was just using the word for emphasis... :redface:

-i probably need to learn how to not make people feel like shit-