My newest composition: Words I've Never Said

[Retalion]

With the implementation of the expressive arts board, I've decided to stick my latest composition here, titled "Words I've Never Said".

I've been casually doodling music the past 3-4 years, and this is the one I've spent the longest on. I've spent the last year on this on and off, ripping things apart, putting parts in, re-writing parts, altering parts, etc.

When watching/listening to this, just close your eyes, and afterwards, post what you imagine, feel, envision. Also, post about what you think can improve it, or about the video as a whole (other than the shaky, blurry camera, lol). Any comment, regardless positive or negative will be appreciated.

And with that, I present to you, Words I've Never Said


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0ntpQFZxmXc

Thanks for listening/watching/reading!

[Sarah]

Wow. I'm not qualified to give any sort of constructive criticism but as someone who listens to a lot of music I want to start by saying that was wonderful. The beginning felt a little weak but then it bursts to life and I felt like I had to close my eyes. From there I was taken into a Disney movie (this is meant to be a compliment) because that's the sort of thing it sounds like. I was reminded of A Whole New World from Aladdin, which is also a very beautiful tune. I don't doubt that it could be worked into a real life scenario, but it just seems to fit that overly romantic only-possible-in-a-Disney-world theme.

Either way, I was incredibly impressed. Thank you so much for sharing.

[Russt]

I'll admit that I ignored your instructions and just put it in the background while browsing other threads for 6 minutes.

But I really liked it. If I had to say what I imagine (though might be influenced by Sarah's post a bit), it feels like flying through a sort of wonderland.

Edit: I read your youtube description. "What's in this song is a reflection of a whimsical, uncertain boy, a character much like myself in the process of writing this."
I thought of something like that too, second time I listened. It kind of reminded me of..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GroDErHIM_0

[Dyxanije]

That was amazing, Jackk.

When I closed my eyes, I imagined an empty, abandoned city that came to life as inhabitants slowly returned or went to start a new life in this city. Throughout the entire song, I felt hope, happiness, sadness, and a hint of bittersweet nostalgia.

[MetaSeraphim]

Beautiful. Of course I am a sucker for any music with Pianos, Harps or Violins/Violas, but still very beautiful.

I listened to it once with my eyes closed, a second time watching your reactions, and a third time with it ni the background.

I saw something close to what Lucida and Dyxanije said. I imagined at the start a young child learning about the world, and as the song went on the child growing up and enjoying life to the fullest.

[Rob]

Needs more jazzy feel towards the end. Either way that was awesome.


When I closed my eyes, I imagined an empty, abandoned city that came to life as inhabitants slowly returned or went to start a new life in this city. Throughout the entire song, I felt hope, happiness, sadness, and a hint of bittersweet nostalgia.

What he said actually.

[Kurtle]

I imagined a young boy and girl destined to be lovers from first meeting, however, the young boy misses his chance. As he grows older, she parts from him because of his lack of action, then they are reunited. He reveals his loves for her and she does the same. She then is diagnosed with a terminal illness, and he is forced to stand by and watch her die, resenting those years they were apart.

Only criticism is your personal way of playing the piano. It seems very awkward and forced to me. You are either truly into the music, or are over-acting the emotion, which makes it hard to watch. Try to sit straight up and play it with sternness, showing occasional emotion at intricate melodies to truly relate your relationship between the song and yourself, as opposed to you currently making out with it all over the piano.

[Jon]

All I could think of was that it kind of sounded like a happy ending to a sad, sad, SAD movie; a tear-jerker. AMAZING piece, thank you for the pleasure of listening to it.

And I admit, it did sound very Disney. :)

[Retalion]

Wow. I'm not qualified to give any sort of constructive criticism but as someone who listens to a lot of music I want to start by saying that was wonderful. The beginning felt a little weak but then it bursts to life and I felt like I had to close my eyes. From there I was taken into a Disney movie (this is meant to be a compliment) because that's the sort of thing it sounds like. I was reminded of A Whole New World from Aladdin, which is also a very beautiful tune. I don't doubt that it could be worked into a real life scenario, but it just seems to fit that overly romantic only-possible-in-a-Disney-world theme.

Either way, I was incredibly impressed. Thank you so much for sharing.

Thanks for listening. As for the beginning feeling "weak", I wanted to start slightly small, and build upwards. It gives me more room to work with. I've never thought about it as Disney-esque, but its definitely an interesting thought, and others here seem to think so as well.


I'll admit that I ignored your instructions and just put it in the background while browsing other threads for 6 minutes.

The point wasnt to actually sit there and close your eyes and whatnot, but to just let the music move by itself. Browsing the forum during it has no problems, haha.


Edit: I read your youtube description. "What's in this song is a reflection of a whimsical, uncertain boy, a character much like myself in the process of writing this."
I thought of something like that too, second time I listened. It kind of reminded me of..


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GroDErHIM_0

I watched that movie, and the beginning sequence was really well done, I thought. I was also blown away at the quality of the music that was in the film. It was pretty amazing.
That was amazing, Jackk.

When I closed my eyes, I imagined an empty, abandoned city that came to life as inhabitants slowly returned or went to start a new life in this city. Throughout the entire song, I felt hope, happiness, sadness, and a hint of bittersweet nostalgia.

Thanks Jason. so what you felt was similar to what is in your siggy/avatar? Those are pretty breathtaking images. As for the different emotions felt, I was trying to have an array of them, to have them constantly switching, as if uncertain, as if impulsive, just as everyday life is filled with a wide palette of them.


Beautiful. Of course I am a sucker for any music with Pianos, Harps or Violins/Violas, but still very beautiful.

I listened to it once with my eyes closed, a second time watching your reactions, and a third time with it ni the background.

I saw something close to what Lucida and Dyxanije said. I imagined at the start a young child learning about the world, and as the song went on the child growing up and enjoying life to the fullest.

Thanks. One day, I would like to write music for violins/violas or ensemble work, but Im just not at that level yet, unfortuantely.


Needs more jazzy feel towards the end. Either way that was awesome.





I'm not entirely sure how to "jazz up" music, as I've never had a jazz background. I was going to take a jazz theory course, but some things happened, and I will be taking it next year instead. Throughout my years in music, I've been applying what I learn to what I come up with, so perhaps after/during the course next year, I'll come up with some way of incorporating jazz elements in.


I imagined a young boy and girl destined to be lovers from first meeting, however, the young boy misses his chance. As he grows older, she parts from him because of his lack of action, then they are reunited. He reveals his loves for her and she does the same. She then is diagnosed with a terminal illness, and he is forced to stand by and watch her die, resenting those years they were apart.

Only criticism is your personal way of playing the piano. It seems very awkward and forced to me. You are either truly into the music, or are over-acting the emotion, which makes it hard to watch. Try to sit straight up and play it with sternness, showing occasional emotion at intricate melodies to truly relate your relationship between the song and yourself, as opposed to you currently making out with it all over the piano.

That's quite a generic drama plot you got there =P

As for your criticism, I agree with it. While I was truly into the music, it didnt come out that way. I felt the same way when I first watched it... I was like "woah, it looks like this on camera? it looks so...strange and unnatural and awkward". Posture is definitely something I have to work on, as well as strange movements in my playing. It's something that occurs no matter what I play, unfortunately. I've had that problem for the 14 years I've been playing piano =(


All I could think of was that it kind of sounded like a happy ending to a sad, sad, SAD movie; a tear-jerker. AMAZING piece, thank you for the pleasure of listening to it.

And I admit, it did sound very Disney. :)

and thank you for taking the time to listen to it =] I'm not entirely sure of what I was aiming at, but watching movies and whatnot, it always amazes me how much empathy and emotion they are able to draw out of what they do, and it is something Im trying to emulate.

[Kawasari Mimoto]

I told you what I thought of it once, but like I said before, it's a very nice piece. I enjoyed it. It was a lot different than your previous works, I hope you continue to strive for success, Jackk.

[Ryosuke]

Well Jack, as you requested I came, and I listened. Played with true emotion, I really loved it. It was beautiful. Took me back to a time in my life where things went from amazing to tragic...and reliving those memories in my mind while listening to you play was pretty emotionally amazing. I look forward to more.